The Situation is the Boss

I heard a saying for the first time recently, and ever since then, I’ve been thinking about it all the time. In this week’s vlog, I tell you the story about how I heard this saying and explain how it relates to your Bright Line Eating journey.


Comments

  1. Sarah

    Something I was thinking about as you were speaking was something a leader of my church said. ” if you often find yourself running late , that you need to either sell the ox or fill the mire. ” (I may have paraphrased a little) but I think that it can be for more than just running late. I think if you find yourself in the same situation all the time you have to find the ox or the mire and deal with it so you can move forward.

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  2. Claire

    I had to giggle on Rinna’s “Tyranny of the Urgent” as that is the one that flies around here the most…and I am generally resigned to the fact that if anything needs to happen at or within a certain amount of time-things are SURE to jump in here somewhere and cause a moment or more of “kafuffle.” (Aren’t words fun?)

    That said-in a mind that leans towards ADD/ADHD patterns (proven by brain wave studies), I have to guard against the whole “situation is the boss” thinking…because man-can I go down about a hundred different rabbit holes in any given day or moment! 🙂
    At one time in my life-where the situation was becoming unbearable-this is what helped me-thank-you Roger LaBorde…He said “Claire-everyone has a wee root in themselves…it is what guides their decision making-even when they don’t know it…so think about what is your priority in life-not your mum’s, the job’s, your kids, your hubbies or any other entity that holds a lot of clout in your life on one level or another.”

    He said not to push it-or grab-but just to let that priority come to the surface…which in my usual impulsivity-came up fast..”Relationship!! I practically yelled…I am never ever at peace if someone in my circle is not content, or is hurting, or we’ve had words, or un-clear communications etc-it just chews me up” “Ah-he said…now-what actions or words come to you that help define that for you?” So-honesty, time, listening,calmness, processing, kindness, reciprocity…all came up. He then said…”Well-this may sound odd-but apply that to the next set of decisions that give you pause, before you come up with your ‘answer or plan’. It will NOT always yield the path that you wish’d you could be on-but it will be the best map you can make given all the choices, and will start to feel more solid for you the more you practice.”

    I wish’d I could share how this has changed my life-but you can find out for yourself. Many MANY things can be delayed or let go all together. There are many things that I’ve had to miss-but I have more patience, less sense of being pulled in a hundred different directions, more peace in the circular flow of life in general, and have a great tool that at those moments when what to do and who to pay attention to-and perhaps how to go about that comes up-I reach deep into that tool box and ask-“What is the honest thing here (not painless necessarily!), how can I listen? (still work a lot on that one!), what is the kind and calm route here?, and am I looking for reciprocity? or am I good with how I am being asked to fulfill this (fill in the blank)?” For those of you-including Susan-who are in the midst of child-rearing…I hope that this or whatever resonates with you-can help you “be here now” with them-because they ARE a limited time of your life, and they sometimes communicate in ways that if you haven’t had the time to be tuned in-pass you by and bite you in the butt later….That said-they deal very well with understanding the difference between adults being busy for survival reasons (like a single parent raising them), and the “busy work” that we adults often put in the category of “the situation is the boss and the tryanny of the urgent”.

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  3. Cynthia Newton

    Thank you Susan for the Vlog. Good stuff. A Buddhist might say ,”Right Now It’s Like This”.
    I like when you said something about, ‘taking the birds eye view’………from the shamanic perspective this is so important because from the Eagles view we are not caught in the mundane, the story, we are flying high, slightly less attached, getting the entire view.

    I am 60 days in and just signed on for Bootcamp. I have lost 20 pounds and have about 25 to go. Losing about 2 pounds per week. I am feeling great on the plan, plenty to eat. Where I begin to get hesitant is when I see myself at goal weight, with a lot more freedom in food choices. Feels like you are taking the training wheels off my bike!
    I know Bootcamp and Facebook group and coaching will help tremendously as well as taking that birds eye view!

    Thank you again for this beautiful work, Cynthia Newton

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    1. Bright Line Eating

      You’re doing great, Cynthia! Take it one step at a time. We can help you with maintenance when you get there. Enjoy the ride and know we’ve got you in this too! <3

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  4. Pamela Gordon

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, SO much for permission that I have already given myself because of a VERY bossy situation yet I’ve felt, especially since returning home, that I should give myself LESS permission. Three and a half months ago I fell as a result of being pushed unintentionally at work. The fall resulted, ultimately, in two broken femurs, a re-do of a 5 year old hip replacement, a displacement of that, another re-do and 9 hours of surgery in which an enormous plate from hip to knee was screwed in to my femur. I spent a total of 8 weeks in hospital or a rehab facility. I am now home, non-weight bearing for another two months. Needless to say, I was not eating three weighed and measured meals a day with no snacking in between. I managed to get hospital and rehab staff onboard with a BLE breakfast but lunch and dinner vegetable servings and edible protein was minimal. Family and friends brought me BLE food so I would have it when I needed it. What I did manage to do was keep the two bright lines of sugar and flour — with one exception for flour one night in rehab after having left for an outside doctor’s appointment and returned utterly depleted. I will never do that again; I felt so sick from being so full. Now I am back home and mercifully able to eat fresh vegetables and coach home health aides in preparing meals. Quantities are still off; I usually have 2 regular meals each day and 2 smaller meals. I have not been on the scale. And, other than that one time, I have not had sugar or flour. When I am back to full weight bearing and in control of my kitchen I will return to the four bright lines. I know I will go through a period of adjustment because I have allowed myself small meals. But I am also thrilled that I have kept (almost completely) two of the lines. Without the numbing agents of sugar and flour I’ve been able to weather what has been in so many ways a nightmare with clarity and precision that I would not have had otherwise. Amazing! I am very grateful to you, SPT, and the entire BLE team, and my loving MM group.

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    1. Bright Line Eating

      Oh Pamela! What a thing it is you are undergoing. What a challenge! We’re so glad you shared where you’re currently at. Sending so much love and healing light to you, dear friend! <3

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  5. Mary

    Wow, I look back at all of the situations that I fought in my life!
    I am retired but, you know what? There are always situations.
    Thank you Susan💓

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  6. Betsy Godsey

    I agree with the post that says Susan should go to Toastmasters. I find it difficult to listen to the UMMS and heaven rolling eye movements. If I spend my time listening to the vlog I would really appreciate the news in a professional way. That said I have lost 58 pounds!

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  7. Yongle

    Hi . About the ums and ahs, this is not a Toastmasters , formal, learning how to do public speaking class. This is more a spontaneous, authentic, honest, friendly talk where the aim of the listener is not to give a mark on public speaking skills, which I m sure Susan is well aware of, but rather to see if the content resonates with us and Therefore be beneficial to us somehow.. This is why we love these videos, if they were formal, they would be boring.

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  8. Yongle

    Hi Sue. I don t know how you do it to nail down the issue so clearly .and efficiently and felt that you have shot this video just for me as well. I have just come off a holiday where the situation was the boss and am Proud of the way I have handled it the best I could., even if not perfectly. And now, if I think deeply, I realise that the situation is the boss ALL THE TIME., hence the need for compassion not only for ourselves but for the other people involved as well.

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  9. Richard Huffmon

    Hello Susan, One of the reasons I origninally signed up for the Boot Camp was so that I could attend the Family Reunion in San Diego. I have wanted to say Thank You, and give (well, honestly get a hug) you a big hug. Ocean Robbins and The Food Revolution Network provided my introduction to BLE several years ago. You were one of the speakers on the summit they held (2015 maybe. I mention all this, because I tend to ramble. The upshot is that I will be unable to attend the Reunion because of a prior commitment for that weekend. Sigh. Because I feel the need to model integrity for my children, as you do; I will keep my prior commitment. Because as you said this week, “The situation is the Boss”.

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    1. Susan Peirce Thompson

      Sigh. Yup, The Situation is the Boss.
      So….not this year I guess.
      Just know, Richard, that I’m holding the biggest hug for you and am trusting that I will get to deliver it to you in person at the divinely perfect right time.
      Grateful for you.
      Susan

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  10. Jackie

    Susan, thank you so much for this vlog, especially the section about attribution. I had a situation *with* my boss 😉 yesterday & needed to be reminded of this.

    I’m wondering if you’ve considered (or have done) doing a vlog regarding attribution– in this vlog you said we’re hugely affected by environmental factors, but when we attribute motives we tend to attribute to internal factors such as values, temperament, and/or motivation. I’d love to hear more about this because I think that for me attributing to internal factors can lead to the what the hell effect.

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  11. Riadh Asaad Ghanma

    God grant me the wisdom, to know when the situation is the boss, and when the boss is something else
    fear
    ego
    resentment
    selfishness
    dishonesty

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  12. sassimint grace

    Sounds like the 12 step slogan ‘first things first’.

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  13. Elana Kann

    I love this! I have already thought of approximately 5 situations where I can use “The situation is the boss”! Thanks Susan.

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  14. Elizabeth Turner

    Susan: I have nothing but admiration for your openness and honesty in being REAL!
    I have learned so much already from you and only joined BLE January 1!
    It’s unfortunate that some people can be so petty and negative about unimportant
    Things . I know that I will be quoting The situation is the boss to myself and my adult children many times .
    Sending love and thanks to you all at BLE
    Liz

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    1. Bright Line Eating

      WELCOME ELIZABETH! We’re happy to have you in this space! 🧡🧡

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  15. Stefi

    Too too true! Thanks again Susan 🙂

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  16. Diane

    Wow, so much backlash here. People are entitled to their opinions and to voice them. Susan puts herself out there in the way that she does for reasons that only she knows. When you put yourself out there, there will be comments for and against. None of those comments are petty or otherwise, they are the listener’s opinion and valid to the person who made them. I am supremely grateful to Susan and her team for giving us bright line eating. That gratitude though does not mean that I have to agree with everything that Susan says, nor do I have to like the way in which she delivers her messages. Personally, I’m grateful for all feedback that I receive in my life. It’s what helps me to acknowledge what I didn’t know about myself (sometimes) and improve (again sometimes!). I suspect that keeping it real is way more beneficial to us all than blind faith.

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  17. Joyce Hunt

    I see that i need to make BLE the boss
    But i just cant take that step,i wish i could
    The addiction keeps pulling me back

    I have lost a son and a dghter a drug addict,so the grief and long term depression has been the boss…

    Always great to hear you

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    1. Bright Line Eating

      Oh, dear Joyce. What heartache. What pain. What grief. We’re here to support you in whatever way we can and in what works for you. Sending love, dear friend! 🧡🧡🧡🧡

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  18. Carolyn

    Thank you, Judi, I couldn’t agree with you more. The content and value of Susan’s weekly vlogs supersede such petty comments. Susan shows up honest and real, and does not deserve such negative critique of her presentation.

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  19. Sylvia

    Great great .a time to reflect…the situation is the boss. THIS IS VERY TRUE FOR ME. THANK

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  20. Judi

    Melissa and Patty: Those are snarky comments at best and not appreciated. Susan gives and gives to her BLE Community and most of us are grateful for her help and thoughts.

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  21. Cassia B

    This was so needed. And just the right time. Yes very timely.Thank you Susan.

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  22. Patty

    For a PHD Dr. Susan is the worst talking into her home video. I could not listen 2 mins counted more then 16 of those um, ah, what a waste of time. Last week she was walking out of her marriage. David was such a angry man blah blah.Guess that was just more drama queening. ..

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  23. Mary W.

    This is one of your best vlogs ever. Any vlog that addresses “the situation is the boss “and ends with self compassion can’t be said enough. Thank you Susan for your grace-filled and much needed message !

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  24. Melissa

    UM, Um , UM, Ah, Um, every other word. Um Um Um….Go to Toastmasters learn how to get you public speaking under control. Fellow Toastmasters will count and tally all your UMs,, ah, Um You will get feedback to improve your speaking. …

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    1. Barbara

      every other word?!!! So, not true.

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    2. Catherine

      I used to go to Toastmasters and left because the one thing they don’t teach you is how to say something interesting, or that the listener’s engagement is the ultimate point of speaking at all, but they do teach you to be arrogant about the style in which the members blather on about the most tearfully boring inanity. I don’t agree with the majority of what Susan says or even BLE, on top of that I find her long winded and in love with her every thought and word, and yet I still watch her videos because she’s interesting.

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      1. Susan Peirce Thompson

        Such an interesting perspective, Catherine. Reminds me of an old saying on speaking: “You can never be too long—only too boring.”

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    3. Kima

      Seriously, Melissa? Is this all you have to say about this vlog? And do you really feel the urgent need to write something so rude and judgmental?

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  25. Alexandra

    And sometimes we can look to change the situation

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  26. Rina Hallock

    I can do relate! The whole time I had kids at home, I felt guilty because I was a working mom. We call this “the tyrrany of the urgent””, and as a special education teacher or consultant orvadvisor, it was especially tyrranical schedule-wise.
    My kids survived and are good adults–maybe not doing what I’d want, but nevertheless, successful. Now that I’m retired, I still feel the impact of the situation being the boss and having to guard certain things, like brightlineeating. I’ve also slowed down and do not accomplish as much. That doesn’t feel good, but it is what it is.

    BTW, did you raise all the money you had hoped to raise?

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    1. Bright Line Eating

      Hi Rina! Yes! We did it!

      The Bright Line Eating community raised all the money in LESS THAN THREE DAYS’ time. AMAZING!

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  27. Tammie

    Timely! Thank you Susan!! ❤️

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  28. Renee

    Susan, I find everything you have to share very insightful, but this was just huge for me. Absolutely broke down listening to this. The Situation has been the Boss for the past six years and I beat myself up for not being able to take better care of myself. Situations arise: brother with brain tumor needing help; his passing and leaving a house full of hoarding, in-laws passing and leaving two houses and six storage units full of hoarding; being the only one to care for mother with Alhziemers; only child becoming schizophrenic; husband’s health declining; along with the ups and downs of everyday life. Sh–t just happens. Looking at the past from this new perspective is very empowering. It offers forgiveness and kindness and helps me move forward. Thank you so much for sharing this.

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    1. Susan Peirce Thompson

      Oh Renee. There are no words. I guess I shot this vlog for you.
      I am loving you so much right now. So much.
      (((((((((((((( BIGGEST HUG)))))))))))))))))
      xoxoxoxo
      Susan

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    2. Bright Line Eating

      Dearest Renee,

      Sound much pain.
      So much to carry.
      We are sending love and light to you and are honored to support you in any way we can, as you navigate this heartache.
      🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

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  29. Jennifer de Jung

    Another reality based gem… The situation is the boss seques – in my mind – to the term: situational awareness… reacting to the situation as it is, not the situation that you wish it to be.

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  30. Michele Metz

    Very interesting and another way to pierce the perfectionism and let in self-compassion!
    Can’t wait to hear next week’s blog!

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  31. Doris Vorndran

    I so relate to “the situation is the boss” …stay at home mom of 5 for most of the mid eighties through mid 2000’s! If I did work outside the home (professional Obstetrical RN), my hubby held down the fort so I actually could have a “time out” going to work an 8 hour shift in Labor &Delivery on the weekend or teach a childbirth class one evening per week! What I didn’t get back in that haze of my life that I do now is self compassion. THIS is a game changer in this season of my life! I once again have stepped away from the professional world to be fulltime care giver to my three (soon to be four) grandchildren! BEST gig EVER…self compassion, self care, BLE, ALL the love and support in this community and YOU Susan Peirce Thompson… Know this 57 year old Nana is overflowing with happiness, gratitude, feeling thin and free! Much love and thanks!

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    1. Bright Line Eating

      Enjoy those grandkids, Doris! We can sense your love and excitement in your words here! 🧡🧡🧡

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  32. Amanda

    I’m convinced as mothers we all question how “good” we are/are not. And sometimes I’ll just throw out, “well, it’ll give him Something yo talk about in therapy!!” Lol. Susan, what you’re giving to the world is so very important. The example of service, dedications, not to mention business savvy you are showing your girls will serve them all the days of their lives. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

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    1. Dee Fay

      Amanda, that’s so funny! I told my adult kids from about age ten and on . . .”write it on your list”. They knew I meant your list of things to talk to your shrink about when you get older. They’d grimace and say, “very funny mom”. I thought it was!

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  33. Susan Clow

    So the real boss is how we handle the situation. Because we all have some of the same situations and yet people can deal with it differently.

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      It is interesting to see how different people handle similar situations!

      Reply ·
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