Dating While Doing Bright Line Eating

I recently received a special vlog topic request from a Bright Lifer, and I thought it was fantastic because it’s a subject I haven’t really covered before. Watch to hear all about it.


  1. Tina Ann

    Great vlog, Susan! Wonderful coverge for dating, and also, reminders for all of us to stay true to ourselves. I so appreicate your articulation of it all! Thank you so much for being you!

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  2. Ariann

    Great vlog. Excellent advice. We need to be with partners who understand and support us.

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  3. Riadh Asaad Ghanma

    let her read “to wives” in the big book

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  4. Riadh Asaad Ghanma

    watch, thanks for sharing movie
    is he still fat noticeably?
    if she doesnt understand, she is not the right one

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  5. Cheryl

    We need a #bookend/update from the guy. Did he have the talk, how did she respond? Inquiring minds want to lnow.

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  6. Robin

    This was a highly informative, richly textured, sensitive vlog. Thank you for sharing this topic with us.

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  7. Cc

    What a fabulous question. And Susan gave a remarkably detailed and all-encompassing answer in 25 minutes or less so kudos to Susan.
    I would have asked the sister some additional questions:
    1. did the sister “make ” or highly suggest to the brother to start doing the program
    2. is the brothers Health in a compromising or dire situation that needs a strong solution to take measures for health
    3. is he a chubby chaser [ does he exclusively date voluptuous women. ]
    4. Is him dating this woman a self-sabotage so that he has an easy out so he does not have to follow the program .
    .There’s a lot of other questions but I think those are some major points. Also I think it makes a huge difference what the ages of the daters are. If they’rent in their twenties it’s a totally different ballgame than there if they’re 40 +
    Also the woman sounds kind of bossy saying she wants to go out to eat all the time, is she just using him for a meal ticket?
    Is she very assertive and he’s not. there are dates that aren’t involving food . maybe a compromise you can do what he wants one date then she can do what she wants the next time, then they make a choice together a third time.

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  8. Edward Stodolski

    Ok Being a Guy Myself and From A Guy’s Point Of View. This is what I would do is when I did Overeaters Anonymous. And now I plan on doing Brightline eating Freedom based on the Food Allergy test. I am now trying to do my brightline eating O.A. Plan with a food Allergy Test I took. I plan on getting a more intense one. I do plan to go with Brightline Freedom Plan cause I want to connect my anger, fustration, self-esteem issues, basically all the feelings with the food and food triggers. So I can have and see a connection with the foods/feeling relationship. This is something O.A. didn’t have. Well, if I go places or to events I do “ONE Thing I would ‘STICK TO YOUR FOOD PLAN” No matter what. See when I was doing my Food Plan and now planning to return. This food Test showed how Wheat, Sugar, Flour, Eggs, Dairy, Grains,even clams does have a sensentivity and could be causing a no weightloss issue in me. So when I go out to places or travel on the road. I select food based on the best food choices I can. See I figure I should stick with the food plan ( I have seens people bring there scales to resturants) See if you do your food plan and the person your dating or hanging out with will eventually notice the change in you (Weight, Personality, etc) Eventually you will become a good example and encourage other people especially your date to follow your way of eating and life style. NOW, If this person is trying to Savatage your food plan and your new life style. Sometimes you may have to abandon friends, family members, old drinking buddies, And people that are not supportive to your new way of eating.( My Mom Try Savataging My food plan while doing O.A Sad But Try- JEALOUSLY was her excuse) So eventually I stayed away (YUP sometimes you may have to seperate from family memebers and food buddies) WHY!? Cause I decided to put myself FIRST this time and not care what people thinked. Now I never tried bring a scale to a resturant but, I learned to eat in a way where to pay attention to what and how much I’m eatingand being servered-It’s Ok to leave food on the Plate plus you can’t do anything about a starving child in another country . And Yes, I know I lose weight (By my Clothes) So guy’s how important is your health? How bad do you want to get into that right size body (Not weight) Put Yourself first, follow that food plan and that new life style eventually the right people will eventually come around, support your way of living. and mostly will encourage you , support you and Yes, may even join you on your journey. (That is my personal Advice.) Trust me I kicked out my Own Dad for coming over my own house DRUNK cause he so unhealthy for me. I walked away from relationships that were unhealthy for me. But, I decided that this time put myself first, I have a neightbor who is overweight and she even encourages me to stick to the food plan cause I want the right size body. But, I know when I reach that right body, she may askme what am I doing and I really wish I knew exactly what I should weight cause I keeping hearing different results for different people. based on height, weight, and muscle mass. But, That is my suggestions keep your bountry, stick to your plan and way of eating, you will eventually attract the right people who should be in your life. Thank You.

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  9. Donna Dinsmore

    MY problem is different. I am over 80, retired, widowed and trying to cope with living alone. One thing that helps is social connections but it seems whenever friends get together it includes food. I am invited to lunch out often and the food is way to sugary, salty, and greasy . I usually take my own doggie bag and put half in my bag before I start but I cannot stay on the plan and eat out and I need the social connection help!

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    1. Bright Line Eating

      Donna, eating out can be tricky, but it is DOABLE! Is it possible for you to take the lead on some luncheons? That way you establish the location? There are so many healthy restaurants popping up all over these days! The need for connection is real and we can understand that and would never want you to feel like you can’t eat out and have those relationships! <3

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  10. Rebecca

    Devil’s advocate? Is there any possibility that the young man is attracted to the young woman who is possibly/probably not a good match, because at some deeper level he would then be able to use her as an excuse/scapegoat for not adhering to program in long run? Devious thought, I know, but human behavior is often incomprehensible!

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  11. Wendy

    You talked about some of the differences between men and women, but how about this: In our culture, a woman (especially an overweight woman) is more likely than a man to feel self-conscious about what she eats in front of a love interest. Knowing that her date is following a strict weight-loss diet, while she is not, would intensify that self-consciousness. This should be considered as a possible complication. P.S . I really hope this relationship works out.

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  12. Marsha

    Good Lord Susan! One of the BEST vlogs ever! So much insight that applies way beyond the dating scenario too. I have so much love and respect for you!

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  13. Ana

    “Change needs focus and focus needs room” Is this the right time to start dating someone ? I don’t know. Will he be able to handle 2 new aspects of his life? Totally doable but he’ll need extra energy to balance it all. Good luck to him 😀

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  14. Christine

    I think that in general, women are more understanding of eating issues. Having a guy that struggles with eating might just be the perfect thing for a lady struggling with her weight.

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  15. Ronna Phifer-Ritchie

    RightOn, SPT! When I was a college professor, teaching all the relationship classes in the Psych department, I always counseled my students to hold the attitude of “This is honestly who I really am, if I am not what you truly want, pass early….with my blessings! God has something better for both of us. In romance, if that’s how you feel!” in their dating lives. Confidence and authenticity go together! And confidence is so attractive.

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  16. Mary

    Thank you and amen!!
    I’m on BLE for almost 3 years and have wanted this vlog to come up. In the beginning I was edgy and searched for answers. Now I am 4 months into a great relationship and everything I’ve learned in the last couple of years on BLE is exactly what is in this vlog in a nut shell (no pun intended!).
    “You do you and let your partner do him or her. “ What I’ve seen as the more honest and open I have been to my program with my boyfriend the more respect he has for me. Be clear, be open, trust yourself, and know yurnorgram and your own limits and always share your concerns with your partner and get the support you need. Stick to your own plan and don’t judge anyone else’s plate or plan. I’m not a crystal vaser or 100% er….but I am living my best life and navigating with awareness, curiosity and my best intentions. Thanks again SPT and your staff for always being a part of my day and my program .

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    1. Bright Line Eating

      What a lovely comment, Mary. Thank YOU for taking the time to share your love, light, and perspective! xoxo

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  17. Sharon Goodman

    Dear Susan,
    This was an amazing Vlog !! I thought the dating subject was covered from all the angles, and you gave the young man some excellent advice, plus general wisdom about dating someone who may or may not be on his wavelength regarding food (and perhaps other values ). I agree with you about the importance of being vulnerable and truthful in life and on our BLE journey. Good on you, Susan. Beautifully and eloquently stated !!

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  18. k

    PLEASE DO NOT EVER suggest weight loss programs to a fat person. Doing so marks you as fatphobic and judgmental.

    Don’t call attention to what you are/are not eating. If your date is interested she will ask.

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  19. Suzanne

    How about this scenario: The waiter brings you the menus, you each order what you want. Chances are she won’t even notice what is on your late. On the second or third date, she probably notices that you are losing weight and looking very healthy. Down the line, she may take notice of what is or is not on your plate, and may ask you about it. Then be honest and open. If she doesn’t ask for more information, that’s ok You don’t have to volunteer anything unless she is curious,

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    1. Grace

      This sounds sensible; and I would add that if your dating partner is pushing/suggesting food not on you BLE voyage that you would also need to be honest at that time as well.

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    2. S B Dalton

      What good common sense, Suzanne…we are, after all, adults and being kind and supportive should work both ways.

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  20. Trisha

    a few years ago i was chatting with a guy on a dating site… and everything was going great… we were talking about meeting up… and then i mentioned that my doctor wanted me to lose weight… and that was a deal breaker for him… he was attracted to me because i’m a BBW… and if i were to lose weight he would no longer find me attractive… for him, i would no longer be the same person if i were to lose weight… so yeah, not very supportive…

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  21. Joe

    Great topic. I agree with everything you said and believe the whole back story needed to be said. Anyone that thinks otherwise has never given a vlog/speach to many that can comment. I’m male and have thought about joining but get the feeling that BLE is more focused to the female gender. I would like to see more vlogs along this line. Thanks and keep up the great work. Glad to see you back and refreshed.

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    1. Marty Desmond

      Joe, I don’t know your situation, but I thought I’d speak on the focus of BLE. It’s true as Susan says that BLE has many more women than men. I’m 8 months into my BLE journey. I’ve got guys that I’ve been connected with for nearly the entire time. I haven’t needed diabetes meds the entire time, and my glucose readings are lower than they were when I was on the meds. My focus is clearer. I’ve dropped nearly 12 inches in my waist. I’ve even kidded that BLE is a “girls club.” In many ways it is, but that will not change until men decide to do this.

      I agree that there should be more Vlogs that at least speak a universal language to men and women. I have often wondered why I should stick around. At the end of the day, the few men in this program have a chance to change the world. Susan has supported us when we ask for it. I’d like to invite you to join us and help make this change.

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      1. Bright Line Eating

        Hey, Marty. Congratulations on your success, and thank you for jumping in and commenting. As I mentioned in my response to Joe, we are shining a light on the situation regarding men–and men’s place in BLE. We see the situation and know that our current male BLE family members–and future men need something tailored to them specifically.
        I can’t promise a time or date, simply that we’re aware and want to make a change to be more male-friendly.
        Sending you tons of support in your journey!

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    2. Bright Line Eating

      Hi, Joe. We recognize that the men (and future men) of BLE need something that relates to them and their needs. While we’re not exactly sure what that looks like at this moment in time, it’s on our radar and high on our priority list! Thank you for your support and for sharing your thoughts on the vlog.

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  22. Stefi

    OMG!!! i’m on the opposite side of other commentators as this is probably the best of vlog- THE best advice on the BLE way of living & dating topic👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

    BRAVO Susan ! ❤️
    I definitely agree on being open and not compromising yourself .
    Very good luck to the young man & belle 🍀 kudos to his sister for showing the way 🌸

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    1. Stefi

      PS I think it needed the whole backstory & extras – worth the time😃

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  23. Ronna Berezin

    This could have been said in 3/4 less language and time!

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    1. Ana

      So? Rude comment. You take free advice for granted. Be grateful and you’ll be a happier human being.

      Reply ·
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