20 Years of Marriage

I just watched an incredible video about marriage, and I was struck by a powerful analogy for your Bright Line Eating™ journey. Watch the vlog to hear all about it.

MAKING MARRIAGE WORK W/ DR. JOHN GOTTMAN

Comments

  1. Theresa blazek

    This was a timely blog as I fly back from vacation in FL. I start and then another life event happens and I make exceptions and break my BL. I need to surrender and commit. You inspired me…again. My husband and I will celebrate 41 years together so we loved this part of your blog, too. He never struggled with weight. Does intermittent fasting. Same weight as when we married!! Thanks for all
    You do and sacrifice for us!

    Reply ·
  2. Mayra Garza-Hitchens

    ….I finished listening to this vlog and a previous one on the subject and as I was talking to my husband – I identified my indulger…….’it’s all about me’……………and so I turned towards him in the conversation… he didn’t even notice, and I did. And the ‘indulger’ quietly remained in the background.

    Pretty epic.

    Can I sustain it is the question…yes! I’m noticing how it feels in the body to ‘turn towards the other’….♥️🙏🏼 Washing through like a gentle stream in my body…

    Thank you so much.

    Reply ·
    1. Mayra Garza Hitchens

      Ops I replied to the wrong blog
      It was meant for the Food Indulger

      Reply ·
  3. Mercedes (from Argentina)

    When I think there´s nothing new you can tell me, another Wednesday comes. And there you go!

    Reply ·
  4. Heather P.

    Happy 20th, Susan & David! Thank you for this BEAUTIFUL vlog, I enjoyed it so much! Amazing!! ♡♡♡

    Reply ·
  5. Tana Anderson

    I love your heart! I love your honesty. Thank you for sharing the good and the bad and the scary. You’re the best Susan and David. I love how you edified him and appreciate what you both can do together.

    Reply ·
  6. Carolyn

    What timing! I watched this video during a short binge where I was just wanting MORE! It really helped bring clarity and sanity even though I’m still not happy that I can’t have the two opposing goals at the same time. I was like “Yeah! That’s it! You are describing me to a tee!” Since I don’t want to divorce myself, I will do some parts work and hopefully move more fully to surrender and dialogue between the two parts of me.
    Thank you, Susan. On target as usual.

    Reply ·
  7. Kimberly

    This was the why that made me cry! Profound vlog

    Reply ·
  8. Heather Hudson/Victor Riemland

    Thank you Susan. You continue to be the most wonderful, skillful, and successful soul that I know. God bless you and David always. You are the light at the end of my tunnel and I love you sincerely. xoxoxoxo

    Reply ·
  9. Kari Synnove Morset

    Congratularions from the heart and thank you both for BLE

    Reply ·
  10. Marisa

    First, congrats, Susan!! Incredible. I recently got engaged and love hearing about your relationship with David – it is inspiring. Second, this post totally resonated with me and came at an opportune time, since I’ve been feeling as if my actions demonstrate a lack of commitment to BLE, even though my mind feels committed. I’ve been struggling with being as disciplined as I was during bootcamp and have put back on a few lbs. The past month has been filled with lots of change, so I’m trying to be kind to myself. But, this post inspired me to recommit. Thank you!

    Reply ·
  11. Natalie

    I love Susan, and believe that many Bright Line Eating concepts are right on, and a life saver to many. BUT, I can’t help but think that there are more than these two choices when it comes to our eating “life.” The two that Susan presents in this vlog are the extremes on either end. There are definitely ways to put parameters on our eating that are not as strict as BLE. One doesn’t have to just choose one or the other. I think it depends on each person’s score on the susceptibility scale, as well as a lot of other factors. That said, I think the parallels to marriage are right on. There will always be conflicts that persist, and are not reconcilable. Very interesting vlog. It made me think. But I do disagree that our eating “lives” and dreams are that black and white, nor do they have to be.

    Reply ·
    1. Susan Peirce Thompson, PhD

      Agreed, Natalie. What I’m describing in this VLOG is more and more true the higher someone is on the Susceptibility Scale. If someone is low, this polarity doesn’t exist hardly at all, and in the middle it exists with a lot of grey areas.
      What I notice, though, is that a lot of people who are in the high range on the SS really struggle with coming to terms with what that means for their relationship to food and eating. That’s what I’m describing here.
      I do this a lot–talk only and specifically to the experience of someone who is high on the Scale without specifying that that’s what I’m doing. That’s for pointing that out.

      Reply ·
      1. Natalie Fields

        Thank you for clarifying Susan! I appreciate it! Interestingly, I was at a place of a great resistance to my BLE program when I wrote my comment. I think I need to watch the VLOG again and see how I feel about it now. I’m a 10 on the susceptibility scale, and sometimes I try to pretend I’m not. 🙁 Natalie

        Reply ·
  12. Stephanie

    A friend’s parents have been married over 70 (SEVENTY) years.

    Reply ·
  13. Elena Slusser

    This is the first time I have ever heard of the conflict between “eating whatever you want when you want” and maintaining the “bright lines” so succinctly discussed.
    Thank you, Susan. A real eye opener for me!

    Reply ·
  14. Rebecca

    The end portion of the blog reflects an observed reality about any business, and that is that two people are always required for success….one may be the idea person and one the business end, or one the public relations and personnel manager while the other is the provider of the idea/service, etc….interesting to see this play out once again….

    As for BLE itself, while I have found boot camp and input from other members not only useful/helpful and for people some totally necessary, I also have found that just the bare bones of the original plan and book will do the job on its own if one just puts it to work and doesn’t worry over it like a dog over a bone….thankfully!

    Reply ·
    1. Joseph

      Well said!

      Reply ·
  15. MMarie

    Tears in my eyes over this one, Susan. Thank you for sharing your loving salute to your husband David, and ALL he means to you. Congrats on your wedding anniversary and here’s to many more happy years.

    Reply ·
  16. Linda

    So, is it just me or not, but Bright Lifers sounds like a last-minute idea to keep BLE/the Thompson’s out of bankruptcy. Extrapolating further, because of poor financial planning, there is a group of BLEers who have special privileges due to their ability to come up with a large enough sum of money to keep BLE/the Thompson’s out of bankruptcy. Bright Lifers is not the result of a well-thought-out business plan, but was a rescue effort, that now benefits a minority of BLEers.

    I appreciate what I have learned from BLE. It seems to me, though, that the people that need Bright Lifers the most, are the ones who can least afford it. I worked almost 20 years as a nurse, so I have seen the difference in overall health between the upper classes and the lower classes. Consequently, when I hear of a program designed to help “everyone” to gain better health, but the best parts of the program are reserved for those who “can afford it,” it rubs me the wrong way. Not because I can’t afford it… no, there’s no jealousy here. I could afford Bright Lifers for myself. I simply choose not to be a Bright Lifer. And I do struggle to keep my bright lines, so I would probably benefit from being a Bright Lifer. It’s just a financial commitment I don’t want to make. However, I know from reading comments here and on the FB page, that many would love to be Bright Lifers, but can’t afford it. So, when I hear that Bright Lifers arose as a last-ditch effort to save BLE from bankruptcy resulting from poor financial planning (just sayin’… that’s what it sounds like!), and not as part of an organized business plan, it just irks me. Again, the ones who need it the most are the ones who can’t afford it. And I don’t think that’s so wonderful, and caring, and generous, and beautiful, and all the adjectives used to describe SPT all the time.

    I liked what SPT said about her husband in one of the last couple of vlogs… she said, “David hasn’t drunk the BLE kool-aid yet.” That’s how I feel about myself. I do appreciate what I have learned, but I try to keep my eyes wide open, and I’m not drinking the kool-aid.

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Hi Linda! Thank you for taking the time to share what’s on your heart. <3 Bright Lifers was created quickly and has turned into a terrific program, more than we ever dreamed it could be for our community. Susan and David have a goal to be known as great employers, who look out for and care for their employees. They pay living wages and provide wonderful benefits. There are more than 30 people involved in making the Bright Line Eating ship sail. As such, our programs do come with a price. It takes a lot of hours and work to provide courses and the extent of support we do.

      That said, Susan wants BLE available to everyone. It's why she wrote the book and has made it a priority to ensure there are very low-cost entry points. (The book and the 14-day Challenge). You might also enjoy learning more about our scholarship programs for our courses and Bright Lifers. Our support team could answer any questions you have about that! You can go to support.brightlineeating.com to get in touch with them and explore that topic further.

      Again, thank you for the engagement and for the conversation. It's an important one! All the best!

      Reply ·
      1. Heather

        Opening a business, and creating good jobs through that – that is what truly helps and gives life to others. For others to be able to work at a good job doing something valuable for others .. that is priceless, it truly changes families, and destinies! Thank you to all the entrepreneurs, all the risk-takers that sacrifice so much and stick through the hard times without throwing in the towel, not only so we can be helped through what you offer, but also, and maybe even more importantly, so that others can be employed. I almost cry as I write this because having a job that others dug-in and did the work that availed me the job, turned my whole life around. We should not get mad at a company’s prices, how disrespectful and presumptuous and arrogant – we know so little to Nothing behind the scenes. We can either purchase, or not. And be a little more thankful and humble.♡

        Reply ·
    2. Joseph

      Susan and David want to reach everyone, rich and poor alike. But it can’t be done without growing the business, which costs a bundle. In the meantime, people who can’t afford attendance, where a team is available for guidance, the extremely affordable BLE book is available at minimal cost. Still, the long term goal of BLE is to reach everyone, with or without $, but it can never be done without building an enormous team, from the ground up. Susan and David are doing that by pouring profits back in.
      Joseph in Missoula

      Reply ·
  17. Maggie

    Happieth Anniversary! hyuck hyuck

    What a wonderful vlog… so interesting to hear a bit more of the behind the scenes journey.

    It reminds me what Goethe said “Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid”.

    You two are bold and fearless and the universe has honored you with this mighty success for helping so many people . Congratulations!

    Reply ·
  18. Susan Clow

    That was a great Blog and I’m so happy for you that you are in such a great relationship. I just came on today so I know you anniversary is past, but happy anniversary from me anyway.

    Reply ·
  19. Monica Dean

    Happy Anniversary!! Beautiful tribute to your husband. Thank you again for BLE it has been my eating salvation.

    Reply ·
  20. Julie

    Really enjoyed Dr Gottman’s lecture. Is it too late to earn a few new tricks after 54 years??

    Reply ·
  21. Stefi

    🥳🎉🥰 Happy Anniversary Susan & David!! 🥳🎉🥰

    Reply ·
  22. ZORINA BAICH CONE

    As I am sitting eating breakfast with no toast, at my goal weight (not seen for 40 years), I thank you both for sticking it out. You have been blessed to be a blessing and the ripple effect of your effort is rocking many in my sphere of influence. Happy Anniversary!

    Reply ·
  23. Margalit

    Happy anniversary to both of you. Susan, I’m so thankful. Since almost one year I’m happy, (almost) thin and FREE! The first time since the age of 15!!!!! Without BLE this would not be possible. Life-saving stuff. And since I’ on this way, my life changed and is still changing to good and better. I love you. And I love your vlogs….

    Reply ·
  24. Judith

    Happy Anniversary to you and David, Susan! You were really glowing today!!
    Thank you for the link to Dr. Gottman’s UTube talk. My husband and I have been married for 48 years and have a great marriage. It really raised my awareness of all the ways we are relating to each in a way that contributes to what is so wonderful about our relationship and where I can be more sensitive and ask better questions. I can see where this can apply to every relationship.
    Thank you again, Susan. I always learn interesting perspectives from your vlogs.

    Reply ·
  25. Cat

    Happy anniversary, Susan and David. I’m reminded how quickly time goes by, not only in hours, days, weeks, but in years, as my husband and I celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary in August, your blog today was so appropriate, to my life. I never thought about my desires and my conflicts surrounding food in the way you described. It was so profound and i will be thinking of myself, my inner beliefs about my weight, looks etc., against my other conflicts in not being able to do the work. Using my two fists, will be my encouragement and my visual to get me to commit to change. Thank you, your blogs are so inspiring.

    Reply ·
  26. Lucy

    Gah! I am a raging rebel and, while BrightLine makes total sense, my rebel will NOT be directed….truly an irreconcilable conflict! I have looked through your book to see if you have addressed that sweet little rebel, but I’m not finding it. Any suggestions? Thank you!

    And, happy anniversary!

    Reply ·
    1. Joseph

      Lucy, perhaps you can make the BLE method work for you by adopting it as your own. That shouldn’t be impossible, because you think it makes “total sense”, which implies that it conforms with your way of seeing things.
      Joseph in Missoula

      Reply ·
  27. mary ann Fleming-Ruiz

    I celebrated my 33rd Wedding Anniversary on 6.11.19. May you both continue to cherish one another. BTW great vlog.

    Reply ·
  28. Bella

    Susan you are awesome, amasing! ,
    I thank you endlessly and I thank David who is always by you.

    You are a blessing to this world

    Warmest regards – Be//a

    Reply ·
  29. Sunshine

    Very many “felicitations” (felicidades) to you and David, for your 20 years of marriage. Obviously, yours is a partnership that you’ve made work. An exciting and wonderful milestone and I pray the beginning of another 20. Thank you for all you do, and have done for all of us. Thank you for your unabashed truthfulness and thank you for continuing to help us through. Yes, surrendering is so very important. Peace and love to you both. And, thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Reply ·
  30. Mary Maziarka

    Happieth Anniversarieth!😘😘😊

    Reply ·
  31. Giovanna Pratesi

    Wow! So moving your story Susan and so amazing to me your authenticity. Thanks for being such a great role model. Much love to you and Happy Anniversary 🙂

    Reply ·
  32. Carolyn

    Susan & David, Congratulations on your 20 yr celebration! I very much enjoyed today’s vlog and identified with the dynamics of this relationship analogy. I am a Bright Lifer and found BLE quite by accident, in March of 2017. I have an inflammatory disease (Sarcoidosis) and was searching on-line for a list of anti-inflammatory foods and somewhere in the mix, ‘no sugar and no flour’ appeared and from there I found BLE and have never looked back. The BLE movement literally saved my life from 30 yrs of “on again – off again” Bulimia. Maria, please, please don’t give up ! Your story was my story, and you, too, can have a happy ending.

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Wonderful Carolyn! So glad you found your way here! So happy for you!! <3

      Reply ·
  33. Lonae

    That was so informative to learn. I will use the technical to better my relationships. Thank you Susan. You are the best!

    Reply ·
  34. Theresa H.

    Great vlog! Happy anniversary and blessings to you and David. I’m grateful for your amazing partnership that has served as such a gift to this community! That’s going on my gratitude list tonight!

    Reply ·
  35. joseph

    You’re right Susan. Dr. Gottman’s talk was amazing! And btw, your vlog, again, was fabulous.
    Joseph in Missoula

    Reply ·
  36. Maria

    That’s a wonderful milestone, Susan. Mazeltov! Your talk kind of breaks my heart though…to realize again just how profoundly NOT surrendered I am, and how much internal conflict I experience because of it. I was SO close to my goal weight and I’ve gained it all back. Not happy, not thin, definitely not free. Sigh…

    Reply ·
    1. Giovanna Pratesi

      Light, strength and power to you Maria, I -and I’m sure everybody else here- am sure you can do it and you will. Much love XOXO

      Reply ·
    2. Bright Line Eating

      Sending heaps of love to you, dear Maria. We are here for you in any way we can support you. Thinking of you today, friend. <3

      Reply ·
    3. Lisa

      Maria, I am getting ready to embark on the BLE journey for the first time. If you are interested in “buddying up,” I would love to have a partner in crime. If not, here’s hoping your find your momentum again and stick with it. You are worth it and you have it in you to be successful. Don’t get to be my age (almost 60) and wish you hadn’t given up 🙂 You’ve got this!!!

      Reply ·
    4. Shawna

      I hear you! I am not surrendered either. It is discouraging and frustrating. We will just have to keep trying. I am with you.

      Reply ·
View All Comments ▾

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>