Nightly Connection Ritual

In honor of the one year anniversary of the biggest turning point in my marriage, I share the nightly routine that David and I practice in order to stay connected to each other. Watch this week’s vlog to hear all about it.

Click here to watch “The Jumping Off Point” vlog.


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  1. Lois

    Thank you for sharing this very personal link to your hearts contentment. I’ll keep it in mind for when Mr. Right comes along.

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  2. Helen Spingola

    A. True Love Story…….

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  3. Daniela

    Dear Susan, your honesty is amazing. You are a book opened when you talk about you, your life and you are an idol to me. You help me so much with my food addiction . Thank You 🌸.

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  4. Carolina Castillo

    Love your honesty and how well you express yourself…. so clear and easy to understand!
    Thank you for sharing!!!!

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  5. Patricia Visser


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  6. Truth Freemyn

    WoW… Thanks.

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  7. Fred George Sauer

    Thank you Susan, yesterday my wife of 43 years honored me with bringing this ritual into our life. We are pretty much at the point you were a year ago. It seems her psychological makeup is more like your husband’s. Anyway we just finished the 2nd ritual and it really has improved our communication. I just watched your blog presentation. It gave a lot of context to the process.
    I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this with the world. Thank you and many blessings to you and the rest of your audience.
    Fred George Sauer

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  8. Tanya Rutherfoord

    Susan, I just love your total candid honesty – how the world needs your courage to be so forthright with people – you and David so deserve to have come through this year victorious and stronger for having faced your situation and found a way to get through it and for both of you to come out whole but whole in a way that you are both blessed – I salute you and know I want to thrive in my marriage, I am truly grateful that you have woken me up to the fact that there is a way through everything we face. Thank you and keep doing what you do so well in your unique way.

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  9. Robyn Julian ( currently, book- bright liner)

    Thank you Susan for sharing this valuable and personal information. Our food is weaved into every aspect of our lives. Here is another “Tool ” for the marriage Tool Belt you may find helpful. Check out The Significant Marriage. I think for all of us, we dont want to just live, we want to THRIVE. and we want the same for our marriages.

    Thanks a million

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  10. Susan Olsen

    Dear Susan,
    As always, nuggets of wisdom with heartfelt emotion. I remember the Jumping Off video, it was powerful.
    I have to echo Anna Maria’s comment as I am pretty sure if I asked my husband directly to do this with me he
    would most likely say no. So I think I will just work the questions into daily conversation and see what happens.
    Like most men, he avoids going too deep with conversations and emotions, but the questions are innocent enough
    and they just might spark a deeper conversation somewhere in time.
    Thanks again for all you do.
    Lots of love and appreciation.

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  11. Marjorie

    Susan, your beautiful and moving words have touched me deeply. I just joined BLH and plan to include the questions as part of my journal entry every night. Thank you with all my heart for sharing your journey.

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  12. Sharon

    Once again, I find your words so sincere and meaningful. Thank you for sharing your journey and your honest emotions. Hugs!

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  13. Jennie

    I think you could almost start the convo without making it a thing. Just proactively ask these questions to your partner. They way reciprocate and then this could help to.

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  14. Joyce

    I don’t have a partner, but the questions are things I ask myself every day. They keep me connected to myself!

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  15. Ann Rothstein

    Thank You for being so honest and Real. I feel strengthened , inspired and so grateful to have found you and BLE…. and 1st Happy Anniversary.

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  16. Anna Maria

    I’m thinking I might trick my boyfriend into doing this 🙂 He doesn’t like rituals, but he does like to connect, so I might just try to find a way to ask these questions every night and see how he responds. I’m pretty sure he won’t even notice we actually have a night ritual 😉

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  17. Mercedes (from Argentina)

    Every vlog is a gift. Thank you, Susan. 💛💜💚

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  18. Josephine

    Thanks Susan. I think the connection questions
    Are good to use and even with friends or family
    Who tend to be negative or complain. Infortunately,
    I am divorced and the X stopped connecting and
    Was not fully in the relationship and the gender
    Differences on what helps connection – I was unaware
    Of 20 years ago and expected him to talk like I did.
    But even so, he gave up without expressing what
    He was going through- facing mid-life and so I have been
    Single since with 1 long term relationship earlier on.
    I am now approaching 60 very soon and would love to
    Attract a partner. Losing 19 lbs on BLE has boosted
    Some confidence and feel more ready than before.

    Reply ·
  19. Mary Hall

    Hi Susan, Thank you so much for your honesty and steadfastness in your marriage. Marriages stagnate over time if we aren’t careful. Mine certainly did and has come out at the other end in a really good place. We are at 26 years and going strong. It has been so good for me to listen to these vlogs and do this program. I broke my right wrist in June and have spent a huge amount of time this summer pretty sedentary. It gave me a chance to really engage with your messages is a deep way rather than just a listen quick and move through my work day to the next thing. It has been enriching and powerful for me. So I just wanted to say thanks! And thanks to David and your kiddos for sharing you with us. Blessings to you.

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  20. Ronna

    creative and helpful

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  21. Nancy

    Thank you!

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  22. Betty Christiansen

    It’s so easy to fall in love without knowing how to love. Congratulations on falling in love while learning how to love. Thanks for all you do. BLE is a marvelous program.

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  23. Chris

    Hi Susan,
    Yes, you’ve done the work and that is so awesome. You’ve squared your shoulders and took the leap and have a better marriage than ever bcause of yours and David’s hard work. Thank you so much for giving me the courage to take steps to change areas of my life. I listened to both this vlog and the “Jumping Off Point”. Both of these vlogs show courage and what you can do if you really want to make the changes. Thank you, thank you.

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  24. joanna

    Susan thank you for being so candid about your personal life. It is inspiring to know that even though you have all of the tools in your kit in order to help others to live sane lives you struggle along with the rest of us !!

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  25. Carli

    Thank you so much for sharing this!! It is incredibly timely for my husband and I. Two days ago my husband was brave enough to call out the downfalls of our marriage that we’ve been ignoring. We came up with some ground rules and things we’ve committed to doing daily to make the other feel loved and appreciated. I think this is the perfect addition and a great nightly routine. I can’t wait to suggest it to him and see where this next year takes us. Thanks again to you and your husband for being so open and real!!

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  26. Karalee Nicholson

    Yes, what a difference a year can make…SO happy that You and David have fallen in love all over again, reconnected on a deeper level with the help of your nightly affirmations…Seems like a simple but profound way to meet each others needs…Thanks for sharing, we all could use this… (:

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  27. Ki

    For everything you do, everything you share….
    THANK YOU!!!

    Reply ·
  28. Sheri K

    Your ritual seems to be a beautiful blend of both of your love languages – affirmations and quality time.

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  29. Lavina Blank

    All I can say again is thank- you for being so refreshingly honest!
    Love the connection questions. Thanks for sharing!!

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  30. Lynda Hahn

    As always my dear sweet out there Susan….you are so amazingly open. I send you much much love. You have helped me immeasurably..
    What a gal!

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  31. Shawna Moore

    I’m new here and will be joining. I absolutely love your candid and total honesty and straight forwardness. I can totally relate to this vlog. Married 23 years , happy however it’s always a process. Connection ritual is a awesome idea!

    Reply ·
  32. Margaret

    I am sending this off to my husband of 39 years…fingers crossed 😉

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