How to Help Loved Ones Struggling with Food

A viewer recently reached out to me to ask for advice on how to help a family member who is struggling with food addiction and implementing Bright Line Eating™ in her life. Watch this week’s vlog to hear my thoughts.

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  1. Cindy

    What about my 21 year old daughter keeps bringing. Cookies ice cream p etc in the house. I am a 10 on the susceptibility scale. I am trying so hard nit to eat the junk, but it’s so hard. I have talk to her about it , but she said it’s my problem. Any advice?

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Hi, Cindy! That is SO hard. Our recommendation is that you keep your eyes on your own plate. What other people eat, is their choice. The only thing you can control is what you bring into your home and what you choose to eat. It might help you mentally if you were to have a designated shelf in the pantry or a cupboard or shelf in the fridge that is for “your food” and everything else on the other shelves is “not your food.” Keep building those BLE muscles, Cindy. You’re doing great. 🧡

      Reply ·
      1. Cindy

        Thanks for the tips🙂

        Reply ·
  2. Diana Matlack

    I love this blog. Mother /daughter relationships are hard. My daughter bought your book and I am in Boot Camp and I understand that she doesn’t have time to do all the things that a retired person can do with this program. She likes to tell me you can’t change this, you can’t do that ,you have to do it right. And I can’t say anything to her because I’m always wrong. I love the saying “keep your eyes on your own plate.” This will help me to keep the Relationship strong and we will both succeed in our own way. Thank you so much.

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  3. Dee

    I love this blog. Mother /daughter relationships are hard. My daughter bought your book and I am in Boot Camp and I understand that she doesn’t have time to do all the things that a retired person can do with this program. She likes to tell me you can’t change this, you can’t do that ,you have to do it right. And I can’t say anything to her because I’m always wrong. I love the saying “keep your eyes on your own plate.” This will help me to keep the Relationship strong and we will both succeed in our own way. Thank you so much.

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  4. Tyler Roberts

    I am starting my 2-week boot camp on 8/21. I am pretty excited. Although, my concern is eating so much salad for supper. Im afraid I will get burned out after a few days. Is there any way to substitute the salad for other veggies? Also, is there a FB group for other BLE people for support, share recipes, give hints an suggestions while doing this?

    Reply ·
    1. Sheila

      Hi Tyler, I’ve done a Boot Camp. I enjoy my salad at lunch time. At dinner, I have cooked veggies, usually roasted as I enjoy them done that way. When you’re in the Boot Camp you will have access to a Facebook page for support, etc. You can participate as much or as little as you like. Best of luck as you start your wonderful journey.

      Reply ·
  5. Wiley McCarthy

    Love your honesty in your Vlogs. I’m not a true bright liner but your book has proven ever so helpful in dealing with a lifelong food obsession. I think I’m about a 22 on your 10-point scale. Keep up the good work!

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  6. Janice

    This is an important vlog for me but reversed. I am the one struggling with surrender to BLE and although I know better, I tend to think that my family should be able to help me somehow. Neither my husband nor my two twenty-something children who live in my house have any problem with weight/body image issues as I do.

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  7. Melody

    Thank you, Susan. Right on! It doesn’t help to try to say anything. They have to do their own path.

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  8. Gail Lumber

    Hi Susan: I turned up the volume and my husband listened. I put too much pressure on our diet because I know that if he lost some weight the pain in his knees would be less, etc. He needs to decide how to go about it. Looking at my own plate.
    Thank you – love your advice.

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  9. GraciasALaVida

    So timely. So much appreciated. Paradoxically, I appreciate most the unequivocal hopelessness you communicate for someone struggling to “say or do the right thing.” It. Can’t. Be. Done. In that I can rest. In that, at least in this moment, I can surrender to the dying of the one I love. Eyes on my own plate. Sigh.

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  10. Rosemary

    She can show by example by controlling her own plate.

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  11. Barbara

    Excellent Vlog. Clear and focused advice. Thanks Susan for always explaining things so well.

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  12. Bobbie

    Yes, that is a very truthful answer, what a great message. Although we want to give advice to someone who is going through eating
    challenges, i.e. emotional eating, comfort food addictions, we cannot get through to them by talking about diet and giving our
    so called logical advice. They have to get to that particular point in the their life that they have decided they have suffered enough and are ready to
    give up the sabotage and the damaging of their own body.
    God bless them all and hope they go through the wonderful journey of self love.

    Reply ·
  13. Jennifer

    Your message has really hit home with me as well – I have a brother and a son that both struggle. I also have struggled many times and your journey time line comment has made me realize that I obviously have not surrendered fully. I have been trying to do BLE for the last year or so – was one that signed up for your first boot camp and have not been successful. I still watch your VLOGS and just last week got the program information all back out. I am wanting to do this so bad but for some reason can not stay disciplined enough to be 100% committed. I reached out to one of your personal coaching boards last week to try to sign up for a personal coach, thinking that might help, but have not heard back from anyone. If you happen to see this, maybe you could check that out. I’m not giving up, I am just needing to get myself 100% committed.

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  14. Natalie

    Adrian is a fraud. Do NOT give him money for astrology. See someone in person with verifiable references.

    Reply ·
  15. Susan Richlin

    omg what timing for this vlog ..
    i have been watching my 31 year old son get heavier and it is just so upsetting . He knows all about BLE but is not yet ready to surrender . i guess i just need to do as you say and focus on my
    journey . The problem is though when he is sick and in the hospital.. who do you think takes care of him ?

    Reply ·
    1. Marjon

      You don’t need to do that.

      Reply ·
  16. Judy McQuinn

    Thanks for an excellent message.

    Reply ·
  17. Nancy

    Excellent, Susan! Truth!

    Reply ·
  18. Karen

    One of the best vlogs yet! Well done Susan this was very helpful.

    Reply ·
  19. Mary Lou

    2 things to comment on. I also was a former smoker, and neither of my daughters have ever smoked. I vividly remember them trying to get me to stop when they were children. People change their behavior when THEY are ready, and sometimes that time is when they have hit rock bottom. We all wish that is not the case. Example teaches others even if we are a bad example. Meaning the child sees how he/she doesn’t want to be. I did stop many times in my lifetime, my last stop time was after watching my father dying from emphysema ,and knew I would never have my daughters experience that with me.
    Second, I also have a good friend that I wish I could influence to be diligent about her nutrition. Just last evening I made the offer that Dina made, to help with prep work of food or shop for her etc. . She is like a daughter to me. It only makes sense that we have found this great formula, example of a solid nutrition system and we’d love to share it with the people we care about, but that person has to o want it as much as we did when we chose this journey with Bright Lines. Love to all, take good care of yourselves and be a good example!

    Reply ·
  20. Amy Stephenson

    Love you too Susan!!!! I’m not so much in the same boat, but I have a daughter that has some cognitive impairments and has severe ADHD. She is now 19 and her medications for her ADHD has always kept her pretty right sized because it took away her appetite. Now that she is not in school, she has stopped taking it and I see that all she wants to eat is sweets and flour. She knows about the program, but it is hard to see her gain weight, when I’ve always had an issue. Thanks for reminding us all to take care of ourselves.

    Reply ·
  21. Sandy Mc

    Excellent response to this very common occurrence, Susan! You nailed it once again! ❤️

    Reply ·
  22. Paul Beaulieu

    Thank you for the reminder. I was not sure this would be applicable to my situation where my wife is not on the program but read the book to understand my journey. Being day 35 for me with 17 down and 80 to go , being focused on my plate and bright lines is paramount. As you said, it hurts deeply glancing over to see the bowl of ice cream being consumed and restrained from comment. Being married for 46 years probably does not help with silence., but I know deep inside any words on the subject would fall on deaf ears. Blessings to you and your staff for all you do.

    Reply ·
  23. Thea

    This was a great vlog, definitely a terrific lesson. Thank you so much for the in-depth explanations, as always.

    Reply ·
  24. Dina Grossman

    Wonderful advice about how we need to let go and accept that these kinds of journeys are often strewn with disasters before a person becomes motivated (“hitting bottom” for some).

    The last couple of minutes have a great summing up of advice – to the concerned person who needs to let go.

    I have a couple of thoughts about what MAYBE could help in the relationship:

    Give a lot of love, attention, and even gifts that have NOTHING to do with food and your loved one’s journey – no comments.

    Offer concrete help with cooking, chopping, or shopping in appropriate settings – no comments.

    (Don’t do these things unless you feel deep inside that you want to . And if they aren’t already a part of your relationship, go slow and easy)

    Reply ·
  25. Amy

    I totally agree, Susan! Thank you for affirming what I believe,

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  26. François

    I think there is 2 good reason to ”keep our eye on our own plate” as Susan said so well.
    1- People have a tendency to believe someone they don’t know and not often someone close to them (there is probably some study on that somewhere).
    2- From the statistics there is more chances that children from smoker will also smoke, so the best way to teach something is to show a good example.
    Have a good day everybody.

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  27. Serene

    Keep your eyes on your own plate. YES!

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  28. Ronna Berezin

    profound reasoning

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  29. Joanne

    The advice is so true for ANY situation where someone you love is self-sabotaging – drugs (including alcohol( food addiction, giving one’s power away to those who abuse you, etc. . The person you love must come to the point in the journey where they are ready and able to do the hard work to change their mindset and habits. It may take her another several years, it may take a decade, and sadly it might never happen, BUT since she’s read the book and will have you as a non-judgemental example she may be more likely to come to the point in her journey to do the hard work to change her habits sooner rather than later.

    Susan – wonderful eye-opener.

    Reply ·
  30. Dimitrina Bayarova

    Hi Susan,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my question. The ‘keep your eyes on your own plate’ mindset is definitely a work in progress with me. Thank you for the hope you give. I will take a step back and allow my mother to make her own journey and implement your advice with fervour.


    P.S. Don’t worry about my name, it is of Slavic origin and usually takes people two times to get it 🙂

    Reply ·
  31. Gina Heese

    This is a very timely VLOG because the same situation is happening with me except its with a friend who is new to BLE.
    She literally just announced that her bday is this weekend and she is planning to PARTY and simply rezoom Monday.

    Well as we say we are NOT the BLE police but she is kot at the point where she understands that there will ALWAYS BE some excuse to go off our lines like bdays, showers, celebrations, vacation etc.

    So I am glad SPT said just keep your eyes on your
    Own plate and I guess I should at least be happy she is planning a REZOOM! 🙄

    Reply ·
  32. Kimberly Evert

    I do know where else to post this question: are you involved with astrology? Did you talk about it to the Tribe? Do you know a man called Adrien? I am getting information about my horoscope and my immediate future. His credentials hang on your reputation and nothing else. I will believe in him if you do. Please let me know if I should listen to him or spam him. Thank you!

    Reply ·
    1. Dana

      I got his information from an email as well and am trying it. Will be very interested to hear if it is real or I should block him and get out of it. Thanks!

      Reply ·
  33. Allison Stratton

    This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much. Clearing my brain from food addiction shame has allowed peace to flow in. I wanted you to know that. I am profoundly changed and want to share with everyone, however I will practice acceptance and detachment.

    Reply ·
  34. Mary

    I did not get my weekly vlog today. loved ones struggling with food.
    please continue to keep my e mail on your list. You have helped me
    a lot and I continue to learn from you and stay on the “journey.”
    mary h

    Reply ·
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