Co-Regulation

One of the things I do here at Bright Line Eating is keep my finger on the pulse of our community and collect data, both formal and informal, on what’s happening among us. In this week’s Vlog, I talk about a phenomenon I’ve observed that could help us all during these unusual and often difficult times.


Comments

  1. Stefi

    Dear Susan, I had missed this vlog when released but saved it in my inbox . So glad I watched it just now. Firstly, heartfelt condolences on the loss of your relative & the friend. 💞💐 This vlog has profoundness in every sentence. I thank you for it. . Love & blessings ❤️🙏

    Reply ·
  2. Tonya Moore

    What a heartfelt and informative message. Great nuggets of wisdom I will try to share with others…and I’m feeding my teens extra veggies tomorrow. I pray God gives you and your family comfort as you grieve for your family member.

    Reply ·
  3. Nancy W. Goss

    Such an important message for us all. I am so very sorry for your loss.

    Reply ·
  4. Delva Scheffer

    I would like to know if any one finds that they nibble in the night and in the morning find that you are so disgusted with yourself
    worse you cannot remember eating this nibble.
    I was blessed to get the 14 day challenge as a gift, due to finances I cannot go on to any boot camp.
    However I have stuck to this way of eating and believe in BLE weighing my food and being pretty faithful to the BLE
    So I have been on the 14 day challenge for 16 months I have lost huge amount of weight however for the last 3 months I am stuck on 73kgs I think this is due to my
    nibble which is normally a fruit and yougert (like eating breakfast at 10 at night.
    Have you ever heard of this?

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Hi, Delva,

      Yes, snacking or eating between meals is one way individuals break their bright lines. We understand your financial limitations and invite you to consider applying for a scholarship. You can learn more by going to scholarship.brightlineeating.com. Our coaches in boot camp would best be able to personally coach you and help you with the situation you are in with the nibbling Don’t lose sight of how far you’ve come, friend! 16 months is great! <3

      Reply ·
  5. Catherin

    I am also sorry for your family members.

    I have researched the numbers, you refer to:

    Japan has had a very big Problem with suicides a long time. A governmental program reduced it from about 34,000 in 2003 to about 20,000 in 2015 per year. The number of sucides in Oktober was 2100, and so in that case due to corona 300 more than in October the year before.
    The numbers of total deaths by / with corona in Japan weren less than 2100 in total. Now this numbers has just increased, so that it is only true for october.
    Now I want to point out, that Japan has got 126,000,000 inhabitants
    .
    How many inhabitants does the USA have?:
    330,000,000 ?
    So about three times of Japan. If Japan had as much people as the USA, they would have only three times 2100 deaths = 6300 deaths. How many total deaths are there in the USA by/ with corona? More than 350,000
    Conclusion for me: little bit misleading information after searching for the real numbers, but I got the point, that it is important to have somebody to trust and talk to and dont think that suicide is an appropiate opportunity to solve a Problem. In Japan, the suicides increased especially in women, who suffered more from the corona lockdowns, because they work mostly in service sectors. I just wondered, whether they have got a system to help people in these cruel financial situations.

    Reply ·
  6. Catherin

    I am also sorry for your family members.

    I have researched the numbers, you refer to:

    Japan has had a very big Problem with suicides a long time. A governmental program reduced it from about 34,000 in 2003 to about 20,000 in 2015 per year. The number of sucides in Oktober was 2100, and so in that specific month of corona 300 more than in October the year before.
    The numbers of total deaths by / with corona in Japan weren less than 2100 in total. Now this numbers has just increased, so that it is only true for october
    Now I want to point out, that Japan has got 126,000,000 inhabitants
    .
    How many inhabitants does the USA have?:
    330,000,000 ?
    So three times more than Japan. If Japan had as much people as the USA, they would have only three times more than 2100 deaths in Oktober = 6300 deaths. How many total deaths are there in the USA by/ with corona? More than 350,000
    Conclusion for me: little bit misleading information after searching for the real numbers, but I got the point, that it is important to have somebody to trust and talk to and dont think that suicide is an appropiate opportunity to solve a Problem. In Japan, the suicides increased in women, who suffered more from the corona lockdowns, because they work mostly in service sectors. I just wondeted, whether they have got a system to hell people in these situations.

    Reply ·
  7. Clare

    A little off topic but, where can I get that necklace? It’s giving me life!

    Reply ·
  8. Sanja

    Dear Susan ,
    Thank you for this vlog. I appreciate your work and support. I am a bright lifer and took GRIT course in spring and was unpleasantly surprise that access to GRIT course was removed from us. At the worst time of COVID crises to remove access to course that was created for Crisis !!!
    I reached out to customer service and was told that is it. No further support

    Please reconsider and allow us access back to GRIT materials – it is great support during these difficult times

    Reply ·
  9. Mary

    Condolences on the loss of your family member, Susan.

    Reply ·
  10. sassimint grace

    Just a new name for mutual support.

    Reply ·
  11. Susan J Edwards

    Susan, I bless you for this vlog. It is one that I plan to forward to ALL the persons on my email list because I am determined to co-regulate daily. I have a gift for “spreading encouragement” and I have NOT been as faithful lately. That changes TODAY!!! I am making a call as soon as I post this. BTW, this is ONE of your BEST and I have never missed a vlog in almost 4 years.

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Thank you for being here for the past 4 years, Susan, and thank you for the contribution you are making by sharing pieces of the BLE movement. 🧡

      Reply ·
  12. Melanie Deason

    When I was ten years old, my father died. Though estranged from the family for seven years prior, I was a teen-ager before being told the truth of his death: that he had “committed suicide”. He was dying of colon cancer and in those days, very much terminal and in horrible pain – pain that his active alcoholism could not turn off. I have never faulted him for his “choice”, and still believe it took tremendous “courage” to carry out that act. In addition, I believe it is important to step out of religious beliefs, dogma and judgements around suicide, and step into compassion for anyone that has ever contemplated suicide, tried and failed, and/or actually succeeded. As an adult, I’ve even learned that giving someone “permission” – Yes, permission to kill themselves – is an act of non-resistance that just might be the ‘lifeline’ to break that individual free from their isolation and hell of wanting to die by their own hand. I say this, because I’ve worn those shoes myself! When life (and death) are viewed as a choice, the world can be much brighter! Namaste!

    Reply ·
  13. Gillian Golding

    My husband works on the railway and this week came home to say there had been one suicide and one severe injury. These are such difficult times we are living in. Having also witness a near suicide on a railway line years ago and also myself when in crisis also attempted my own life, I am now so grateful that I am here now living life . I often used the Samaritans in those days and they carried me through. I send my love and courage to all those who need it in these times. xx

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      We are so glad you are with us, Gillian. Sending love to you, during your darkest times and always. 🧡

      Reply ·
  14. Celine Horan

    Dear Susan, thank you for your sensitive, loving, and highly informative vlog this week. Your message touched me deeply. I had no idea vegetables had such an impact on my mood. I am so happy to hear that. Going forward I will eat every brussel sprout, every piece of broccoli, baby tomato, or butternut squash and honor them for the health they bring to my body, the happiness they bring to my brain, and for the amazing feast of colour they shine out in my bowl. Thank you for being you, Susan. Big hugs to you and your lovely family. xxx

    Reply ·
  15. Pat Luma

    So sorry for your loss, Susan. I’m so grateful for the gift of you.

    Reply ·
  16. Debbi Neher

    Just when I think you can’t possibly give from a deeper place or reach out in a more touching way, you do. Over the years I have lost two family members to suicide, so I can relate to your loss. I wish you comfort, and I am in awe of your drive to tend to our BLE community in the midst of such personal pain. You bring the science, you bring the humour, you bring the transparency – and always you bring the will to encourage us forward in such practical ways. I ate 20 ounces of vegetables today and God willing, I will tomorrow too. I will think of you when I do, and be grateful for the miracle oasis. Shine on, dearest Susan!

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      So sorry to hear of your losses, Debbi. Thank you for your kindness. Keep eating those vegetables! 🧡

      Reply ·
  17. Justina

    The love you express is comforting and appreciated. I realize it is generalized, but it comes across as very sincere and I believe that is because it is sincere. I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray that you and your family are blessed with comfort at this difficult time. May the peace of Christmas be in your hearts.

    Reply ·
  18. Grenda

    Susan,

    Thank you! Your message was a little oasis in a sea of ripples. It’s darkest before the dawn, and your light shines bright.

    Reply ·
  19. Sherill

    Susan, just listening to you and watching you breathe helps me to self regulate.

    Reply ·
  20. Debbie

    I didn’t know the language had changed concerning suicide I think people need to say it how they want

    Reply ·
  21. Jim

    Loved your message as always. However when you started by telling us how badly we were all having it, it stuck me as odd you would be in a short-sleeved outfit. I am in Iowa with snow outside – your outfit increased my sense of isolation!

    Much more importantly, your comment on the European kids feeling better the following day after eating their vegetables – is a wonderful incentive-reminder to pile my vegetables back on!

    Keep up the good work!

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Hi, Jim! We are so sorry to hear the clothing choice caused you to feel more isolated. There is snow in Rochester, NY today too–but there is heat indoors, which may trick the viewer a bit. Interesting to consider this. Enjoy those vegetables! 🧡

      Reply ·
  22. Marie Nadeau

    So sorry to hear about your loss. I send you lists of love and I hug you very tight. Love you 💕

    Reply ·
  23. Joanne

    Many also say “name” died by suicide. This avoids the connotation that commit gives as in committing a crime. You do not have to say “completed.”

    Reply ·
  24. Mary Judkins

    Thank you for always bringing in the science and research! I love that stuff! Makes so much sense! I am so sorry for your family’s loss. That must have been very difficult.

    Reply ·
  25. Gordon Appleman

    I find your content and style to be very informative and soothing.

    Thank you for making your thoughtful vlogs available.

    Reply ·
  26. Vicky G.

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your
    dear relative. I had a sweet, giving stepson who took his life a little over a year ago. He had cancer clear through his body, and the pain was more than he could take. So, I empathize with you in that loss. May God grant you peace.

    Reply ·
  27. Kathy

    So sorry to hear about the loss of your relative, Susan.

    Reply ·
  28. Anthea

    So terribly sorry for your loss. Very interesting that language has shifted when talking about suicide. Very informative video. Thank you!

    Reply ·
  29. Natalie Conrad

    Please use correct language with those who have passed away due to suicide. One does not “commit ” to suicide, as one would, say, commit to the BLE program. We now say this person has COMPLETED suicide. Changing our language helps to reduce stigma. Thank you.

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Hi Natalie,

      Thank you for this invitation. This phrase is new to us. <3

      Reply ·
    2. Susan Ferrin

      I have always thought of “committed suicide” as meaning “carried out”, not as you are suggesting – that of being loyal to or dedicated to. Regardless, it’s good to have dialogue about things we are not always clear on. Thanks for your perspective.

      Reply ·
    3. Jane

      Thanks for highlighting this Natalie- I too had noted this. Using the word” committed” comes from when suicide was treated as a crime and this phrasing has been considered outdated for a significant period of time especially in the professions working with mental and emotional well being.

      Reply ·
    4. Nancy

      Sadly many people attempt suicide several times before they “complete” it. That is a form of commitment. We do need to erase the stigma some uninformed people place on people who are suicidal, as if it was a rational choice and not beyond their control. Stigma contributes to the isolation that prevents people from seeking help. There is also stigma placed on families and friends who “missed” the signs or “failed” to prevent someone from “completing” their death. Our mental health system is vastly underfunded, and our society and social systems are seriously aggravating dire situations. We need to learn to let go of blaming and focus on loving those who die this way and those who are devastated by their loss.

      Reply ·
    5. Maura

      I never heard of it referred this way, thank you for teaching us something new (well, new to me), in saying Completed. We also use the phrase ‘this person crossed themselves over’ to indicate it was by their own hand. No matter what, it is devastating for everyone. Thank you

      Reply ·
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