Rezooming A Marriage

Once in a while, I get really up close and personal with a vlog. This is one of those weeks. So if you’re looking for straight-up weight-loss tips, this week’s vlog isn’t it. If you love the personal stuff, the stuff that gets deep and gritty and super-revealing, then this one’s for you. And of course, this vlog has lessons for your Bright Line Eating journey (and they’re not insignificant ones). It isn’t just about food around here. Often, we eat because of how we’re living our lives. This week’s vlog is an inside look at my life right now, and the take-home lesson is valuable for most anyone who has struggled with food.


Comments

  1. Jean

    You warned us that this would be too personal. It seems kind of odd that you talk to a camera and an imagined audience to unload your heart.

    This video is hurtful. My heart goes out to David right now. It hardly seems fair that you’re airing all your dirty laundry here and your claim that you’re being helpful. If you’re kind, thoughtful and sensitive (as you claim you are), you will take this down and grant your family the privacy they deserve.

    Reply ·
    1. Saundra

      Read your comment first and did what Susan suggested and didn’t listen to the Vlog. Thank you for saving me valuable time.

      Reply ·
      1. Elizabeth

        I read the comments before watching the vlog because I know I’ve had a problem in the past with TMI. I agree with you Saundra. I’m not going to watch. I don’t know if the vlog would be a waste of my time or not, but I know it would draw me into being judgemental.

        Reply ·
    2. Jenna

      We need to show Susan the respect she deserves as a human being, and has earned with her unrelenting candor. It’s not okay to come into her space, watch something she said was going to be personal,intended for friends and supporters, then call her feelings and experience “dirty laundry.” I say this with no anger or rancor, just that it’s completely unjust to do this. She does clearly state that she is not saying anything David wasn’t okay with her saying.

      Reply ·
    3. Lisa

      SPT warned you and she got permission from her husband. I appreciate her candor. Its most helpful when people can be real and venerable. Its not dirty laundry. Its real life. They are real people. I don’t understand what the problem is??

      Reply ·
      1. Jean

        It’s one thing to share HER feelings and confusion about her marriage, It’s another thing to be doing her husband’s inventory for a global audience. She was also doing an inventory on his family. I think there’s a difference between candor (e.g., my marriage is shaky at the moment) vs. blaming it on her husband, which she does, both explicitly and implicitly.

        If I were a member of her husband’s family, I’d be deeply hurt. She cast aspersions on them as well, suggested that they have a way of doing things that resulted in her husband’s inadequacies. This whole blog extols her virtues while finding faults with his failings, with his struggle to live with and adapt to the demands of her life.

        What it lacks is compassion for her husband. If she had it, she wouldn’t be broadcasting this like an episode of Jerry Springer, with her cult cheering her on.

        I respect the great work of BLE and Susan’s vision. Disagreement doesn’t infer disrespect. And if she is comfortable revealing the intimacies of her marriage in this forum, then she (and her fans) should be comfortable hearing divergent opinions.

        Reply ·
        1. Kim

          Couldn’t have said it better, except to add that what about consideration for if her kids and/or their peers were to come across this video and how would it impact them.

          Reply ·
        2. Jenna

          I’m really sorry you missed the essence that so many of us heard in this vlog. But since most of us did hear what she was doing as very different from what you heard, perhaps consider that it’s not as black and white as you are portraying it. Most of the viewers who commented “got it” and see no disrespect for David or Susan’t family at all. It’s not because we’re all heartless and inconsiderate, but because your takeaway is radically different. Probably better not to judge Susan for something that you seem to have missed the core of.

          Reply ·
          1. Bonnie

            Jenna, disagreeing with the appropriateness of the content of this vlog does not mean the so-called “essence” was missed. Susan clearly has good intentions. However, the message does not land the same with everyone who receives it. The irony of your comment is that it’s filled with its own set of judgement of another persons point of view. Some folks like this kind of “laid bare” approach to living. Others find it an intolerable breach of privacy. To each his own. I doubt very much whether Susan’s self image is affected by either one. She certainly does not need defending, as she so clearly demonstrates in this vlog.

        3. Joseph

          She wasn’t blaming David. The center of the story was the dynamic engaged by both Susan & David. A) David didn’t know how to ask for what he needed;
          B) David would eventually get frustrated and blow up;
          C) Susan didn’t know how to step away from David’s issue;
          D) Instead, Susan would acquiesce and try to smooth things over for David.

          It’s a dynamic that would repeat over and again for years, and both were involved. I think it’s a common issue in relationships. As I see it, the great gift of Susan’s vlog is that we should all look at our own relationship and ask ourselves: Do we have this hangup? For it’s got to be one of the great destroyers of relationships. Great vlog Susan!
          Joseph in Missoula — actually Eugene right now.

          Reply ·
        4. Jane

          I think the fact that she went ahead with the vlog after asking for permission (I don’t see his response as permission but rather aquiescence, which is what it seems as if he’s been doing all along) is emblematic of the marriage. The marriage is focused on her (somewhat of necessity) but that may not be a sustainable marriage. Right or wrong, he doesn’t know how to ask for what he needs, nor does he seem to know what he needs. Does that confer permission? IMO, no. But it’s also a mistake I’ve made, and will probably make again!

          Reply ·
    4. Vicki

      Jean as a psychotherapist I think you are judging something based on your own experience and perspective . This blog could be so helpful to some and also really positive for their marriage and David . It is hard to know how something affects others and I believe Susan was speaking from her heart and not in a hurtful way .. perhaps you did not listen till the end of the vlog .

      Reply ·
    5. Jen

      If they wanted privacy it’s their responsibility to express that to her – not yours. To me, that’s the essence of the vlog.

      Reply ·
      1. Viv

        You know young children aren’t really in a position to assess their need for privacy now and for the future, and request it of their mother.

        Reply ·
    6. Sarah

      I thought the exact same thing! I really lost a lot of respect for her. She completely threw him under the bus, blamed him for everything, etc. she’s justifying things she did (coming home later than she’d said she would be there), while having no understanding or compassion for him, just—my way or the highway. It also gives credence to his feeling that she’s outsourcing her role. She shows up for BLE (her business), but pays others to do it for her home and family. So sad!

      Reply ·
    7. PBG

      I am reading this almost a week after it was posted. I could not agree with you more, Jean.

      Reply ·
  2. Margo

    Thank you sooo much for sharing such personal and deeply emotional story with all of us! It was really helpful and inspiring. I am experiencing very similar problems in my marriage so it touched me deeply. Thank you once again and God bless you and your husband.

    Reply ·
    1. Margaret

      I didn’t find it helpful.

      Reply ·
  3. Mayra Garza-Hitchens

    ….your life has reflected mine so much …I was going to say how much under other circumstances we would have been best friends, then I realized

    we already are.

    Thank you for sharing so vulnerably with us. You are deeply appreciated…and David, we honor you just as Susan has.

    Reply ·
    1. Rae

      Brought tears to my eyes and a new perspective. Thank you so much! I feel this vlog will be helpful for me in my journey.

      Reply ·
      1. Naomi

        Exactly! me too. Thank you so so much for sharing.

        Reply ·
    2. Devika/Ellen

      I agree with you Mayra. Thank you for speaking my heart.

      Reply ·
  4. Liz

    Hi Susan,
    I’ve never replied to a vlog before – this is the one I needed to reply to!!!!! I related to everything. I’ve been married 24 years, it’s not always easy – I’m not always easy.
    I feel less alone because of your sharing. Just for today, I am in my marriage too.
    You are awesome. Keep being you!!!
    Liz xo

    Reply ·
  5. Francoise

    What a beautiful example of articulate, and clear awareness of relationship struggles. You are brave to air this private video. I’m so impressed by your willingness to be transparent. i also understand how it’s going to shock some people. Glad you had a happy resolution. Thank you for reminding us to listen to our feminine intuition.

    Reply ·
    1. Ruby

      Well said, Francoise! Totally agree with you.

      Reply ·
  6. Shanda

    Wow, I couldn’t disagree more, Jean! Thank you, Susan, for being authentic and present. We don’t get enough of that in the world. Love to you and David.

    Reply ·
  7. Bev Earley

    I feel like I just came from church. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank You very much.

    Reply ·
  8. Cheryl Harrison

    I love your raw honesty. I love how you share from your heart. I always learn from you sharing real life situations. It is helpful to hear that you are real and human like the rest of us that have family drama to deal with like every one does. Don’t ever apologize for sharing with us if people don’t like it to bad for them. I for one always come away from listening to your vlogs learning something new in a way I can improve on my own life. I feel like I know you and I hope that one day our paths would cross. I am a California girl also and live on the Central Coast. Keep on being you and don’t change who you are ever because someone might be offended that is there problem and on them if they can’t handle honesty. You go girl. Love you to the moon and back.

    Reply ·
  9. Richard Saalsaa

    Susan. No words can adequately describe your being present with us in this video. And presence of David. I can so find myself in his shoes and in your shoes. My marriage to Theresa is the most fulfilling thing in my life apart from our kids. We celebrated our 2nd 6th anniversary. Having been married for 11 years, divorced for 22 years, and now married again for 6 years. We rezoomed. We can dance with the hard truths. It takes practice.

    This video was perfect. Love to you and David. If you get to Oregon, you are always welcome.

    Namaste

    Rich

    Reply ·
  10. Pam

    I’m touched. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply ·
  11. Elaine

    You need Jesus…not the worlds coaching and opinions. Where is God in your life…the true God of the Bible and his plan and his timeline and his guidance and his ways…he is your answer to all problems and and all issues. Christmas celebrates the Mighty God, the Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Piece. Do you know Jesus?

    Reply ·
    1. Jen

      And you, my dear, need boundaries

      Reply ·
  12. Erin

    Thank you for sharing your experience, strength, and hope.

    Reply ·
    1. Lelan

      Feeling extremely grateful to you for being true to you and sharing with vulnerability, grace, and integrity. Thank you for everything you shared here.

      Reply ·
  13. Cc

    As always you rock.
    truth is always the best no matter what it seems like in the moment.
    The universe is the happiest when we listen, and so are we.
    The journey isn’t always easy but if you keep it real it’s always worth it.

    Reply ·
    1. Ruby

      Bless you, Susan. Your tender love & respect for David was evident in spite of the pain & hurt you’re working through.
      You’re a beautiful example of not giving up just because it isn’t easy. Our addictive nature would rather give up (by numbing with food , substance, etc) than forge through, to gain a greater understanding of what our core strength could be.
      Over ten years ago I would have thought your public forum would have been the wrong place for this topic. But I’ve learned so much through going through some tough stuff myself. Before I thought I needed to always be represented in the best light because I didn’t think I’d be loved or accepted if someone knew my unpolished side. Now I see myself as a whole package, both good & flawed.
      My driving force is no longer to be loved and accepted (though that’s still nice when it happens), rather it’s just to be loving & whole.

      Reply ·
  14. Reva Everett

    I am no longer married. My wedding anniversary would have been the Saturday the 14th. So hard time of year for me.
    Stay strong for each other. I am so glad that you did no give up.

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Sending so much love to you and thinking of you, Reva. <3

      Reply ·
  15. Elizabeth

    Thank you so much. That was just what I needed to hear. I am considering starting a new relationship with someone I met on line and I have realized that something was off even though we haven’t met yet. The magic word is boundaries, but I didn’t know what it was until you said it. Maybe there is possibility here if I let my boundaries be known. How could I expect someone who never met me to know what my boundaries are? Thank you setting me on the track to find out if this could work.

    Reply ·
  16. Dawn

    Made me cry! Just a beautiful, open, and honest talk. I connected with it. Thank you for your openness.

    Reply ·
  17. patricia

    you are so intelligent, insightful, honest in what you see and articulate and courageous in expressing yourself, it would be impossible not to appreciate what you shared with us today. the “lessons” can be applied to relations between marriage partners, with family members, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, everybody, really …. what a christmas present (what a babe :)!

    x

    Reply ·
  18. Natalia Lampen

    Thank you David for your trust & love in Susan to share this crucial node in your marriage & Susan thank you for your truth & love to us all by sharing this important awakening in your personal life.
    I am one of those people that get excited when you open up with “you may not want to hear this vlog” I don’t mean elated excitement cause it usually means i’m going to cry with you but I mean I just love your heart to heart, get real, honest to goodness truth❤️

    Reply ·
  19. David W. Poston

    Susan, thanks for being so real and so honest. I hope your brutal public honesty about your relationship via this vlog is a net positive for you and David. It is unconventional, but it may work for you guys. Most men would not appreciate the sharing. You are a strong, driven and amazing woman, but I can see it would difficult and challenging to be your life partner. Knowing what I know about you from BLE, I understand how David’s personality type as you describe it would in many ways make you crazy. I hope you both find your paths to happiness and fulfillment be it together or separate. Be assured your sharing will move many people and will greatly help them in their marriage journey. Thank you!

    Reply ·
  20. christine

    thanks Susan, sounds like you’re marred to an amazing man! Men often aren’t given permission to feel there feelings in our culture, let alone the family he grew up in, so they default to anger. My husband grew and changed enormously through a group called EVRYMAN….David might be interested. As long as you don’t suggest it! Rather, its from someone who loves and supports both of you….best wishes for your individual journeys and your journey together. .Marriage is a rich cauldron for transformation.

    Reply ·
  21. Juaniece V Bair

    Another thought! As you talked you would rub just below your collarbone and between your shoulder and breast. I don’t know if your know that was a Qi Gong emotional release point. So you were doing good there to.

    Reply ·
    1. Angela Brown

      (Thanks, Juaniece, I was wondering what the significance of that was!)

      Reply ·
  22. Bill Bone

    Hi Susan,
    I just finished watching this Vlog; I was moved to intense silence at being present with your thoughts, actions, breathing, and struggles for the stories you shared. My personal thoughts: David is incredibly lucky to have you in his life; your kids are incredibly luck to have you as their mom. your Bright Line community is incredibly lucky that you are our leader. You’ve anchored your stories around a couple of things that I find very powerful: 1) presence of a god-centered voice inside that leads you to love, truth, and the fully expressed life with assurance, 2) knowin6 what you want and being able to source it with your intellect, actions, and community that you have developed. With these combined, yes, you will have a big, high gravity orbit. The gravity and clarity of this orbit attracts the elements of your success – ability to leverage peoples talents and skills because people believe in you, not only as a leader, but as a co-participant, in life’s struggles. The relationship you draw with meeting your needs in the marriage and the struggle with food at the end of the Vlog is central to understanding of the struggles we experience with having clean lines in BLE – both in hardness to get it right as well as understanding the grip to use food as a source of comfort. I have never experienced the intensity of this struggle as strongly as you have expressed it tonight. Thank you for this experience. Know that you are deeply loved by those who look to you for guidance, strength, and truth for our community. You definitely showed up. This is a blessing to all of us.

    Reply ·
  23. Michele Maycock

    There is great strength in sharing truth and being willing to be vulnerable, so others can learn from raw experience. I say this in reference to both Susan and David. Thank you for sharing this very personal story with the intention of helping others grow, whether it’s regarding BLE or their relationship, or both. Getting through these tough experiences will only further strengthen a marriage as you move forward together. As my Grandmother told me when I got married 31 years ago, “Keep talking, just keep talking through things.” And she was right. It’s so worth hanging in and riding the roller coaster as we grow deeper in love (to our surprise) after each hurdle.
    A very helpful e-course is Wildly, Deeply Joyously In Love, by Dr. Margaret Paul, for anyone who is looking for some solid relationship guidance. It ties in nicely with BLE as it’s about loving oneself first (i.e. eating BLE style, and checking in with our inner essence) before we can truly love in our relationship(s). Blessings to All.

    Reply ·
  24. Nadine Whiteman

    Best video yet! You have braved vulnerability to model a pathway to healthy emotions and relationships. One can only wonder how many marriages will rezoom as a result.

    Reply ·
  25. Nancy G.

    Dear Susan, I was deeply touched by your honesty in this blog Susan, and I thank you for the courage it took to share your truth with us and also so grateful that you asked David if he was OK with sharing your story with the world. Your story about having a very full life , led me to look very closely at my own codependency and boundary issues and how when I’m butting into other peoples business and not setting boundaries of my own, I have broken out into some of my craziest food binges in the past.

    Reply ·
  26. Viola P.

    Unlike others here I found this vlog very disturbing. I think SPT is engaging in crazy making, both for her family, and for the audience. SPT clearly isn’t happy with her husband, seeking to focus on his inadequacies (in contrast with her own superior self awareness). Rather than take him down on a public forum, why not handle this matter in private? Emotional honesty and respect looks like something this was not.

    Reply ·
    1. Melanie

      I agree,the wheels are coming off the bus.
      She needs help.Cannot imagine living with her.

      Reply ·
    2. Sarah

      Agree, 100%!

      Reply ·
    3. Belinda

      This is incredibly disturbing. What is sad is she’s using the most public vehicle that BLE has for her own personal therapy session. By constantly breaking her own lines, she was already showing us the program is untenable as a longterm lifestyle. But this is even worse. These personal blogs undermine the “science” of BLE and sabotage the whole movement. Why use the business vlog to rail against her own husband and throw him under the bus? All the others who are supporting this and thanking her for her courage are probably also subscribers to US Weekly and In Touch. They are just marveling at a passing accident. It’s not healthy for her, not good for the business, and definitely not good for her marriage. This stuff belongs in therapy.

      Reply ·
      1. Sharon

        Agreed!!!

        Reply ·
  27. Marian Walters

    Oh Susan, I love you and David!!!! I pray that you will find a way to make things work for both of you. After having been married for 20 years, you know that you will be able to find the right path, as will he. I have now been married for 43 years and I can attest that the ups and downs will always be there. Take the time to meet each other again in the end of each day and reconnect as you have before. You two will be able to work it out. Love you two~~!!!! Thank you so very much for sharing, I am sure it helped you as much as it may help others here. HUGS!!!!

    Reply ·
  28. Leslie

    I am impressed by your honesty and openness. We are all on this journey to figure out how to respond to the events that life throws at us. I pray that you two will always keep the well being of your children paramount. God bless you!

    Reply ·
  29. Cathy

    I found myself yelling “nooooo” during the first 30 seconds because having listened to every vlog, I knew where it was going. It reminds me of the David Wilcox song “Show the Way”. You got this, you two. Keep on keeping on. XOX

    Reply ·
  30. Char Loving

    Rigurous honesty. Thank you for sharing all that you did. That’s who and why you are. I lisened to it all. Nuggets in there I needed to hear. So as we say in yoga, namaste.

    Reply ·
  31. Loralei

    Gratitude Susan for your continual honesty. Positive Vibes & Good Karma to you for your intentions in this world. Your message of Truth is Epic. Peace and Love to you all💙💜

    Reply ·
  32. Lenie Visser

    I know you are very open about ALL things, which is appreciated most of the time. However, do we need to know how many times you have sex with your husband, dont think so!!! As far as your marital fight go, WOULD HE BE JALOUS ABOUT SUCCESS??

    Reply ·
  33. Rosanne

    Wow. I was with my former husband for over 25 years, and we never had the level of communication you and David had in the last few days that you described. It was what I always wanted, but he, like David, always translated those conversations as my judging him and we never got past that. Eventually, I started modeling the “just try to make him happy” way of life. It would have been like an oasis in the desert for us to break through past this into sharing honest feelings. That is such a beautiful thing. SO beautiful. I’m tearing up now because of how that landed for me. Good for you and David for pressing through to that beautiful place. And I know it’s a day-by-day journey. I have so much respect for you and David both. And, for me, it meant a lot to hear what you had to share today. It was inspiring, and a reminder of how I want to live my life. Thank you.

    Reply ·
  34. Margo Stewart

    Thank you, Susan. I felt your whole hearted truth.

    Reply ·
  35. Brenda

    Oh Susan, oh Susan,
    This vlog is exactly why I show up at BLE even when I refuse to keep my lines Bright over and over and over again. Like actually like sugar, but I hate sugar coating…. last week I was on a pilgrimage to The Holy Land and found myself in the beautiful Baha’i Garden and there was a carob tree within a carob tree… reminding us of nature’s transcendence and I don’t know if I would have even noticed it had it not been part of your s and David’s spiritual stops. I love you and david and your girls and your dad and your mom and all of the people I’ve met in the 3.5 years I’ve been a member of your community.

    Thank you for your vulnerability sharing this stuff with us. Thank you david for supporting susan in sharing this uncomfortable stuff with us. This is the stuff that makes us a family and not just another gimmick. Thank you .

    This Vlog is the heart of BLE for me

    Reply ·
  36. Rachel

    Thank You for your honesty. Your openness and realness is appreciated.

    Reply ·
  37. Jacqueline T

    Susan, Thank you for this vlog. Im not over weight, Ive never been, I dont have any issues with food, I can take it or leave it, but for some reason I am drawn to you and your wisdom. Maybe because there is alcoholism in my family? Ive followed your vlogs for maybe 2 years or more. Todays was amazing, I cried along with you. I felt your pain. I asked my husband to leave 3 weeks ago. Im working through that. Im listening to my inner voice and meditating a lot. Thank you.

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      What a painful and reflective time for you, Jacqueline. Sending love, light, and clarity to you. ❤️

      Reply ·
  38. dimple

    This is so awesome Susan! thanks a lot for sharing this.
    there must be so many who feel connected with you and this Vlog speaks volumes.

    Reply ·
  39. Voice of experience

    Susan, if you care about your marriage, please, please, please stay away from Non-Violent Communication. As a seasoned NVC instructor told me, and as I experienced for myself, there is a period of time in the first months to year or more of NVC in which the elevation of fixation on one’s own wants and boundaries to the exclusion of all else leads with overwhelming frequency to the destruction of relationships. The NVC instructor said he wouldn’t use it in his own marriage for that very reason. Yes, by all means, get counseling. But not NVC. If you and David stay in it, you will be putting your marriage in very serious and needless jeopardy. You are both too rare and precious to lose each other through that seductive but devastating program.

    Reply ·
    1. Ki Hani

      Thank you for the warning!! Someone had recommended NVC to us– now I know to stay away from it! Thank you!!

      Reply ·
    2. Jane

      Dear Voice, I couldn’t agree more. Checking in three times per day with a partner is about the checker not the checkee. Thanks for your observations!

      Reply ·
  40. Andrea Bertram

    I cried. Thank you so much for your honesty. I can feel your love.
    Andrea from Sweden

    Reply ·
  41. Bren Lefever

    WOW! Thanks for sharing again!

    Reply ·
  42. Ki Hani

    Thank you, Susan, as always for your honesty.
    And thank you for sharing this personal story.  Ignore the negative comments! I thought it felt just like having a chat with a close girlfriend– this is exactly the kind of stuff we talk about! (and sooo many similar issues!!!) I think your sharing is beneficial because it shows you are human and have bumps in your life just like the rest of us. You don’t pretend that your life is perfect just because you lead/created BLE. You show us you are “in it” with the rest of us and we laugh, cry, dream, hope, stumble, fall, and get up again– all together! Your willingness to be authentic and not wear an I’m-more-perfect-than-you mask is what makes BLE so special.
    Thank you again <3
    Blessings and healing to us all.

    Reply ·
    1. Sharon

      Why ignore comments that don’t support your viewpoint?? Iseems to me there is wisdom in all the comments and more tgan inw valuqble perspective.

      Reply ·
  43. kathleen

    Hi Susan – I find this really interesting, and can relate in a lot of ways. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Marriage is hard. Good luck to you both.

    Reply ·
  44. Martha

    Thanks for sharing! Look into relationshipdevelopment.org. Best of luck!

    Reply ·
  45. Juana

    Thank you!!! This is not just honesty, transparency; it is a powerful message for these days, people have perfect lives (just check on Instagram), or at least they want you to think their life is perfect (the perfect face, beautiful people, perfectly thin and toned body, perfect voice, so talented, etc.).
    Nobody is perfect, we all have our struggles. And I think you just point out something that hit me hard: if you are a food addict, part of your difficulties is codependency, that is going to be my homework these holydays.
    Thank you again.
    I admire how careful you were exposing something so intimate but being respectful of your husband and yourself.

    Reply ·
  46. Anonymous

    I appreciate the candidness and as a young person (28) contemplating marriage with a similar partner, I realllllly relate. I remember when I watched your blog a while ago about the 4 questions you ask before marriage and I tried them with my partner and he was like “this is for you, not for us, not for me.” Sometimes love is about seeing what that person needs truly. It might not be a check in. He might have noticed patterns, like when you have a spiritual awakening he knows rejection is coming and gets angry and so it might be reminders that help remove walls like “I love my life with you. ” Also as someone that struggles with emotional ups and downs and similar thinking, I’ve received tremendous help from medication. It’s hard to know you’re struggling with things like that until your life is falling apart. I find when I feel one day “on top of the world and having spiritual awakening” and the next “like leaving my life.” I know it’s time.

    Reply ·
    1. Anonymous

      I meant 4 questions before bedtime

      Reply ·
      1. Anonymous

        Also the book Attached really helped me with that anxious avoidant attached cycle. One person is avoidant and the other is anxious and tries to get more and more reassurance that they are in the right and the other doesn’t know how to express those things, avoids feelings and especially communicating them. It’s really helped me understand my partner.

        Reply ·
  47. Jane

    I know you’re not asking for advice so stop reading if you don’t want it. Read Jed Diamond about men. If I can find his message on male shame I will send it. Very valuable.
    Also, read about risk/benefit analysis of situations, decisions, actions. Logic has a role. Always good to ask: what is/are the goal/s? Who will gain or lose what if I do this thing? WWFRD? What would Fred Rogers Do? 🙂 You don’t have to do that, of course, but it’s a worthy consideration. You can always find people who will support your decision but as you amass more resources, the people who will help you question your motivations will be scarcer and more valuable. The last bit: I always reasoned that two intelligent people could learn to live under one roof for a higher purpose or two. Maybe not everyone, but most everyone. Ever grateful for BLE and for you.

    Reply ·
  48. Jamie MI Gordon

    Interesting comments above. What I think is that you are BRAVE. You’ve probably read Brene Brown’s books. It is not easy or even popular to speak your truth. Sometimes it results in isolation. But, really it’s living your truth. I admire and respect you for this.
    By the way, have you tried the John Gottman work, 8 dates, the 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work.
    Great work here!

    Reply ·
  49. Sue

    Thank you. Brave, honest , open talking. I hope you and your husband work through this time and come out stronger together as a result. Marriage is not easy, I have been married for 45 years and some days I could walk out and some days I want nobody else but my husband beside me.

    Reply ·
  50. Heather Hudson

    Susan! Love you more and more each day. THANK YOU DARLING FOR SHARING.
    XOXOXOXOOXOXOX

    Reply ·
  51. Jackie Haefner

    Susan, you are one of the most articulate people I have EVER come across – you express your truth so incredibly beautifully – and I hear your heart of true love in many areas of your life, including your love for David.

    Your VLOG was incredibly moving, and I have every confidence it will empower/encourage many of us BLE’ers. This whole BLE journey, the BootCamp Houses, etc. we are all learning so much from each other. I have been so thankful to be a part of such a large group of people who are truly willing to show their most vulnerable selves. I feel honored to be a part of a group where I can come along side to support, encourage and build each other up while receiving the same when I share my vulnerabilites – I love it!!

    My husband and I have been marriage facilitators at our church for ReEngage – we support you in your Marriage!! In ReEngage, everyone is encouraged to imagine “drawing a circle” around yourself. Your job is to “work on everyone inside the circle”. (NOTE: YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT IN THE CIRCLE! And on occasion, a spouse needs to be reminded they have stepped out of their circle!) You are right, it is not our job to “fix” anyone, but ourselves. (My added encouragement is to invite Jesus into that circle as quickly as you can. He is the Great Healer!)

    I have applied this “circle” to my BLE journey. It is my responsibility to keep my lines bright – regardless of what my “outside” circumstances are. I am grateful for all of the “free” counseling sessions, tools and information SPT and this program offer to help shore me up to be successful. Just like in marriage, life and eating, we have to be careful what we “think about”! Phil 4:8-9 tells us what to think about – …”whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” May we all be on our path/journey to receiving this peace that God offers all. God Bless you Susan and David!!

    Reply ·
  52. Lyra Oxford

    I don’t think God told you to do the next right thing…..think that was Anna from Frozen 2. 😉

    Reply ·
    1. Melanie

      Ha ha.
      So over the rah rah god shit

      Reply ·
    2. Katie

      Hahaha, all this serious commentary and that’s all I can I’ve got as well!

      Reply ·
  53. Teresa Krasic

    Thankyou Susan for being so real and showing emotions that we often are afraid to release.I have been married to a wonderful man for 47 years.I would not be here feeling so greatful about my present life(not at all about material things).We have struggled together working on our own weaknesses and in turn building a much better soul and mind connection.He is the one that watched me struggle with my food for almo st all our years together,and I. Was there to help him thru his own personal demons.He is my rock ,my life support and it was his idea for me to do BLE.Fomr bettner or for worse……we. Are mremindned daily how blessed We are..He now has glaucoma and I have had a recent knee replacement. We share our lives with. Anyone who wan ts to listen!The more I share with others the less likely I am to implode with negative feelings and thoughts.I call that emotional constipation,and that was one of my triggers for NMF.For those people w ho turned away from your video,they may just not be ready or need these. Things right now,but look how it has helped others.I struggled thru this boot camp because of my low computer skills,but did the best I could. And did reach my goal.Thankyou Again Susan for speaking about what real life and relationships are.God Bless you and everyone else on their special journey.?…Teresa

    Reply ·
  54. Sue White

    This made me realize that I am just like David. Can’t/won’t ask for what I need then my poor husband is left wondering what’s wrong. Lots to think about. Thank you for your honesty. Life is messy and that’s a truth no one can deny.

    Reply ·
  55. Dawn

    Dearest Susan,

    This vlog is one of my favorites.

    Thank you for sharing what so many people are afraid of sharing. Thank you for being real. It’s so encouraging to know we all have struggles. Nobody’s life is perfect, but true friends share in the good and the bad alike. You are a great friend because you want everyone to be the best version of themselves and will do what you can to help get them there. We are all called to do that. It’s also encouraging to see how that looks in everyday life. Thank you for your willingness (and David’s too!) to be candid for our betterment. I so appreciate your clarity, ability to articulate, and genuine love for everyone. Keep listening to that voice inside, keep taking the next right step, and keep being a source of hope to others. You’ve got this and He’s got you!

    Reply ·
  56. Lisa

    Timely!!!!!!! My goodness…going through similar “stuff” at home. Thank you for being candid and sharing. And let me add that as life changing as BLE has been for me, I recently accidentally stumbled on to something just as life changing – the Marriage Fitness program by Mort Fertel. He does for marriages what SPT does for Happy Thin & Free. Great marriage info, not the same old approach. Mind blowing. I get no endorsements…I highly recommend his site at marriagefitness.com

    God Bless you SPT! You changed my life!

    Reply ·
  57. Traci

    Susan your ability to communicate is astounding. I have searched for those words and been in that situation in my marriage. But I couldn’t articulate my feelings, I felt like I was airing dirty laundry when in fact I could have used some help some clarity!! 25 yrs later I’ve learned to eat my feelings, feel ashamed and resentful. I never expected to get this from BLE!! Thank you.

    Reply ·
  58. Bernice

    What an amazing weekly log. You are the best David & Susan.

    Reply ·
  59. Angelique Mizera

    Thank you for sharing such a deep lesson of love, respect and partnership! We are all at different and unique stages in our personal growth and skills to live fully expressed in our true nature as we were created to BE. YOU and DAVID are amazing individuals destined to share lessons together…I pray for both your Highest Good.
    By going thru Reboot Rezoom last January, I learned put it in perspective and goals are possible , just Rezoom with the new awareness and commiments…
    Again you’re leadership is amazing!
    I love David, as well!
    Best to you BOTH Always,
    Angelique

    Reply ·
  60. Cathy Abrahamson

    Thank you for being so candid and sharing such personal feeling and events if your life, you really touched my heart! You never cease to amaze me with your insight while trying to decipher the challenges life throws at you. I love that you connect with God so personally and aren’t afraid to share that connection with us! I needed to hear your message today. It brought tears to my eyes and the spirit confirmed to me that you are the vessel to helping so many millions of people with more than just a proven weight loss plan. We each are getting spiritual therapy as well! So thank you again for all you do! Prayers going up for you and your beautiful family! You got this girl! Keep listening to those prompting and you will continue to have success with your marriage as well as the BLE movement! God Bless you and Merry Christmas!!

    Reply ·
  61. Christine Herman

    This was so beautiful. My husband and I have also been married for 20 years this year and your message is so thoughtful and introspective. It was incredibly brave for both you and your husband to be so vulnerable to the world. Thank you for that.

    Reply ·
  62. Jill Carlier

    “Adverse circumstances reveal your hidden faults”.
    -Garchen Rinpoche

    Food for thought.

    Love you, Susan
    Love to David and your family.

    With love,

    Reply ·
  63. Another Susan

    Thank you. I’m not you. I don’t always express (or know) my needs. I get angry and hurt sometimes. I needed to hear what you needed to share. Have you seen “Frozen 2?” “Just do the next right thing” is what saves the day. Thank you.

    Reply ·
  64. Laura

    Susan, it was vulnerable and generous of you to share this. As I listened to the whole story, I thought of Imago therapy. You probably know it, but in case….In essence the thought is that your id is drawn to a partner that represents the flaws and hurts of your deepest childhood wounds made by your own parents. The id wants to find that partner and is desperate to rewrite the story . And like much with the id, it’s all happening unconsciously. So for example, if David needs someone to see what he needs and tend to those needs, even if he’s unable to say what he needs, he wouldn’t seek out a partner who would naturally subvert their own needs and make his first and foremost; instead he would seek out a partner like you – crystal clear on her own needs, able to articulate and get them handled. Bc subconscious he wants you to do something different, the “you” that’s the stand in for his parent or parents. My guess is that’s exactly why, when you were being so conscious about checking in and asking, he got angrier. Basically in doing the thing he most wants, it allowed him to open up and say that he wanted even more, it just came out in an angry way, probably because it’s a very scary place for him. I’m probably explaining this all wrong, But if it sounds right at all, maybe look for an Imago trained therapist. My guess is you excavated something really important for both of you. Wishing you both much love as you both navigate to a stronger place in your marriage.

    Reply ·
  65. Leah

    Dear Susan and David (and anyone who has been married for a long time)…one of the best and simplest tool that my husband and I discovered were the messages from the book “The Five Love Languages.” We learned that we were just ‘missing the mark’ when it came to speaking each other’s ‘love language’. I thought I was loving him with quality time, when his love language was words of affirmation and physical touch. He thought he was loving me with acts of service/tasks, and I needed quality time. My husband had a lot of difficulty putting into words what he wanted/needed…and also didn’t know what it was he wanted or needed. So after reading that book…we learned a very simple way to express one of 5 different ways to love each other. We started speaking each other’s language so much better!! Much love, grace, and support to you and to your family.

    Reply ·
  66. Denise

    Note to David. RUN!!!! For the sake of yourself and your daughters. SAVE YOURSELF!
    Note to SPT, you need help. Seriously. Google Bipolar disorder. Google Histrionic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder.

    Reply ·
    1. Maggie

      Wow, that was really ugly Denise. I think you should take a close look at yourself and your need to lash out like this. I have actually been there in my life, a time when I was so hurt and miserable that it gave me relief to go online where I was invisible and rage at others. Please, my dear, start with some self care, and I truly hope things get better for you.

      Reply ·
      1. Marie

        I agree with Denise.

        Reply ·
  67. Paul Beaulieu

    💕💕💕

    Reply ·
  68. Lisa

    I needed this vlog! It’s nice to know that others have the same problems in relationships as I do. You are a brave soul to share your problems instead of hiding behind the walls and doors of your home as I and many people do. I learn by speaking and hearing what is on my mind-sharing with only a small trusted few. But when I do share, I realize that my problems aren’t so bad or big that they can’t be solved. Speaking about them puts them into perspective. Speaking about them brings them to the light so that they can be dealt with. Speaking the truth strengthens relationships. I tend to eat when these difficult times occur-like last night….. I know to wait until emotions are under control before addressing an issue, but many times the truth does not want to be heard by others. I say it anyway-they tend to get mad again, but then they go think about it and develop the courage to finally talk about it. It’s a process-just like losing weight-with ups and downs. I have learned that it’s best to air your dirty laundry, welcome or not. It develops trust, respect and strength in a relationship. We grow stronger and more capable to deal with every conflict through these experiences, therefore, they are less frequent. We must accept that no one is perfect, we all have flaws and fights. Thank you! I’ve lost over 40 lbs by reading your book and following your advise. 40 lbs that I thought I’d NEVER lose. I still have 20 lbs to go. My lines have never been bright because of my home conflicts-my husband is disabled after a stroke and life is difficult. But because of you, I’m better able to cope because I’m healthier. Sincerely, thank you!

    Reply ·
  69. Claire

    Well-I’ve listened to these vlogs for over a year-and have been alternately inspired and provoked. I never try to claim to know it all-but often sit back and wonder how anybody involved in a “modern lifestyle” manages to cope on any level after a while…and there have been “signs” that it is stressful. Blessings on anyone finding themselves at these “breaking points.”
    In serendipity-I found this article on a news feed-if anybody is interested. From the bbc:

    https://getpocket.com/explore/item/is-there-an-upside-to-having-no-social-life?utm_source=pocket-newtab

    and-in my long years of being married and coming to these “moments” where my tendency is to always think of ways to escape-while my husband’s tendency is to be stoic and wait me out… 🙂 I have found-that without fail…re-think of my marriage contract…”to love, honor and cherish”, and acknowledge what OUTSIDE of my marriage and family I am spending so much energy on that I am exhausted and cranky and demanding or any other nasty overwhelmed state of mind I can get myself into…And think hard about one or two options…either withdraw from THOSE-or scale them BACK-or delegate those and return to the fold of my family-which are the people that always have my back, and who are the ONLY ones I really need to be spending my energy on besides myself. A good metaphor to shake me up is to realize what my day would be like if I woke up and any one of them were dead…which happens by the way!
    This isn’t being a martyr, or a doormat or a non-feminist,paranoid or any of the other labels that might bring up-but an acknowledgement that me, myself and I only have so much to go around and I have to remind myself of the priorities I signed on for that genuinely make me a better, more compassionate and accountable person. Life has its mundane side-for which I work on being grateful for. Being grateful for every day things (wasn’t that the most recent vlog?) is a mindful and great activity to keep us on track-but so is not being so busy.

    Reply ·
  70. Monica

    Thank you for sharing so thoughtfully, vulnerably and openly. I had a sense earlier this week that some deep wisdom was coming my way and this definitely hit home. I am deeply saddened by the amount of judgement and callousness in some of the responses to your vlog this week. I am grateful to you and David for being willing to share something so real and personal so that it might inspire the rest of us (as it definitely has inspired me.)

    Reply ·
  71. Kent James

    PLEASE thank your husband for allowing you to share this. I don’t know if I would have the courage to have my life “put out there” like this, but as a guy I sure appreciated this vlog, especially the parts about how your husband handles life’s demands. I’d like your husband to know.

    Reply ·
  72. Eve

    Very touching video Susan. I would love to hear David’s version now.

    Reply ·
  73. susie

    Wow, that one was hard to watch but I’m glad I did as it gave me much food for thought. Marriage is difficult. having a great marriage is really difficult. we’ve been married over 35 years and are more like roommates. It’s not good or what I want. I have a hard time expressing exactly what I want or even talking to my hubby about what he needs & wants. his love language is food, preparing meals for me and others. his body responds fine to pasta, potatoes, bread, etc. Mine doesn’t. But he doesn’t get it…just exercise more to lose weight he tells me. and his feelings get hurt when I don’t enjoy what he’s prepared. when I first found this BLE thing, I thought that is impossible and crazy. I thought Who can successfully never eat sugar and flour? I think I need to start cooking for myself and accept being totally responsible for what goes into (and comes out of) my mouth. Susan, I do appreciate your courage and honesty in being so open about your real life right now. I think it helped a lot of us in your “cult” as someone put it. I just got your new cook book! maybe I should start with the first one but the main thing is to just start already. Prayers for you both and love to you and David!

    Reply ·
  74. Kathleen Lee

    Wow. That was powerful. Thanks for sharing your truth yet again, SPT. I think I’ll take your God-inspired words with me and repeat them to myself…just do the next right thing. It’s beautiful.

    Reply ·
  75. Cherine

    I admire you. Thanks for all you do.

    Reply ·
  76. Carol C

    Susan has said it’s important for us to pay attention to the narratives we spin. The main narrative our culture spins about marriage is that it exists to make us happy. And certainly, as the best of all fathers, God wants that for us. But even more, I believe He created marriage to make us holy. He puts us together with divine intent, knowing where the points of pressure and struggle will be, giving us abundant opportunities to learn what we need to learn to move closer to our glory selves. Seen from this higher view, it all makes sense. Our marriage struggles have divine purpose—purpose we can achieve if we stay in them and lean on God to show us the next right step. As Susan has so beautifully shown, He will. He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it.

    Reply ·
  77. Laura Nickerson

    Thank you for opening and sharing.. I found commonality in my marriage and this has opened my eyes a bit in how I can improve our communication and how we relate to each other even better.
    Side note: we had similar struggles at about our 20 year mark. Now at 30 years, marriage is even better and stronger!

    Reply ·
  78. Mary

    As the BLE turns….the Days of Our BLE….the Bold and the BLE….some time ago I decided with the Vlogs I would take what I could use and leave the rest…

    Reply ·
  79. Patricia Visser

    My dear Susan❤️,
    David and you have so much going for you both. You both are gems of inestimable value, so yeah, sometimes the hard, rough edges rub. Maybe more often than either of you would like to experience. You both are in your 40’s. I will promise you this – just imagine your life 10 years from now. Your youngest will be a gorgeous teenager. Your oldest will probably be in college, or a promising chef by then. You both will be in your 50’s and life will be beautiful. Truthfully, you will enter the best decade of your life where you can look back at a big chunk of your life and still have a good chunk of life ahead of you without the hardships and sacrifices parents have to make. It will get easier, I promise. So just keep on keepin’ on. Hang tight you two. These storms will pass. I promise!

    Reply ·
  80. BARBARA KELLER BETHKE

    Thank you. I don’t think I have every commented. One year ago, I too was ready to move out for the second time. I’m still here by choice.
    I think we have to share our stories so we know we are not alone with our feelings. That others have felt this way and that when we have come through it others know they can too.

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Thank you for commenting, Barbara! Happy to hear you’re still there, by choice. <3

      Reply ·
  81. Jill Carlier

    I agree.. I think i’m most thinking about this getting back to the kids. Parents talk…Rochester really is a small town… David may have given permission for “something” but then again, he was in the middle of shoveling the driveway. Couldnt this have been taped and saved and then shown to David, then decided TOGETHER whether this should go live? I feel embarrassed for David and it has bothered me all day… please listen to “Older Susan”. Some successes should stay at home <3 So much private stuff here.. I love you. Love, Jill

    Reply ·
  82. Jen Willson

    You represented him well, fairly, and told your story from your perspective. You took full accountability for yourself and stood in integrity. Thank you for sharing your experience. It was in perfect time for me, to remind me to be outwardly grateful to my husband (almost 20 years),and all he does for me. I’ve stood right where you’ve stood and it’s a hard place to be. Isn’t it a grand reminder of how precious our partners are in our lives? Bless you both and your girls. Have an amazing and bright holiday with your loved ones!

    Reply ·
  83. Dawn

    Oh my gosh!!! I’m married to your husband…haha, This sounds so familiar and it actually helped me understand my husband a little better. Maybe you can thank David for that. He must be a middle child too as my husband always talks about being the invisible one that tried to not be a bother. So weird, I really needed this right now. I feel like I was guided to watch your blog tonight. Thank you so much for your honesty. Marriage is difficult no matter how long you’ve been married. We are celebrating our 29th this coming April and it has definitely been full of ups and downs.

    Can’t remember how I first stumbled onto you but, I started watching your videos about a year ago even though I don’t have a food addiction. Your honesty and the things you talked about in that first video truly impressed me. I remember you talked about your past and it made me think of my brother, who sadly went down that road at a very young age. Listening to that video filled me with compassion for him and great respect for you. It’s hard to talk about our struggles and faults and you do it with the world. Amazing lady!

    Thank you Thank you Thank you

    Reply ·
  84. Fuchsia

    Susan you continue to be a guiding light in my life. Your candid truth propels me to be vulnerable with those I love and lead. I have been blessed to spend time with you David and the girls and I reflect on this often. I love you with all my heart , thank you for being you. Xxx

    Reply ·
  85. Maggie

    Thank you for your vulnerability. I’m scared for you because people are so very very horrible and judgmental… as evidenced in some of these ugly comments. Be careful what you put out there. Man you are such an unusual person. Respect.

    Reply ·
  86. Joelene Kurowski

    Thank you just thank you

    Reply ·
  87. Cheryl

    Susan and David – whatever options you pursue to strengthen your relationship, don’t forget that in-house you have BLF. Some of the lessons, especially in the Inner Circle course are exactly about boundaries, anger, and many of the things you shared.

    Reply ·
  88. Sondra Horwitz

    This was great! You are human with human problems and you occasionally overeat because of human problems.
    I say occasionally because you have come far enough in your journey to tackle most anxiety without overeating.
    But that is what WE Brightliners do under stress, unless we are mentally backed up with the strength that we can get through it.
    Susan, you make it very clear that you are just Susan, with the same struggles (and much more in your positions of role model, guru, boss, mother, wife and CEO, to name a few) as everyone else. Your daily struggles and how you cope give the rest of us-with more ordinary lives-the guidelines we need to overcome that strong urge to dissolve into the comfort of food.
    Please disregard the negative comments-they don’t get it! You and your husband are amazing because you are growing together. It gets easier as you
    learn the finer points of communication. Please keep doing what you do best-being a leader in a field that needs one so badly. As your knowledge trickles down to us, we become better for it.

    Reply ·
  89. Monica

    Did you get your daughters’ permission to share this? Of course not—and even if you had, it wouldn’t be fair or valid because they are too young to give that kind of “informed consent.”

    I am floored that you would expose your children to the inevitable ridicule and gossip and humiliation that will come from you discussing your sex frequency and deep marital struggles. Yes, most adults can handle it and put it in perspective and congratulate you on your vulnerability and openness, but I’m sure most of your daughters’ peers are not on that wavelength.

    I just keep thinking that they are children who shouldn’t have to shoulder this burden of you sharing such deeply personal “adult stuff” with the world. I think it would be different if they were older and out of the house, but I don’t think this is fair to them.

    Reply ·
  90. Yon

    I don’t usually prefer the vlogs where you go into personal stuff but I did listen to this one. I could never in a million years share the intimate details as you did here about my marriage – and you could probably easily have made your points without going into them . But at this point it’s obviously something that you feel is the right thing to do and is your business. Hopefully your husband is really truly on board and supportive of you sharing intimate details about him like this as you say. I certainly have great respect for that if that is the case.
    I’m just grateful for the tools you provide to people. When I first came across BLE I knew instantly that in the future it was going to be a huge movement – millions and millions and millions of people. I saw it. Just like you say you see it. It’s coming.
    Thank you, Susan.

    Reply ·
  91. Marjorie

    I’m among those who feel this video doesn’t belong on a public forum. I’m perhaps more disturbed by the followers who have lost sight of the implications of posting intimate details of marriage here, the effects on her kids, the questions of whether her husband really buys into being fodder for her fans. This is about decency in intimate relationships.

    Some of the praise is so unquestioning as to make me wonder if SPT is posting them herself or, that BLE has become a cult of sorts, with some people so emotionally attached to SPT that they accept anything she says without reflection.

    I’m also troubled by all the people who regard SPT as a close personal friend. This is the internet, and she is an internet celebrity. Whatever charisma she exudes in her videos, keep in mind that she likely doesn’t know who you are. She clearly feeds on adoration, and I imagine that she will leverage this long string of responses to cast herself as heroine of this melodrama she is creating. This isn’t about food. It isn’t about weight loss. It’s drifted off into another realm that has me convinced that I won’t be recommending BLE to friends. The food basics are good and solid, but this video blog stuff is not.

    Bad move Susan. Maybe take this blog down and try again?

    Reply ·
    1. Mary

      Well said

      Reply ·
    2. Bright Line Eating

      Hi Marjorie! Thanks for watching and for commenting. Susan knew this vlog wouldn’t appeal to everyone (thus the reason for the brief disclaimer) but still wanted to share these thoughts and experiences that were tender to her heart. 😉 We would like to assure you that when Susan comments here, it shows up under her own profile. All comments are left by individuals themselves.. Wishing you all the best, friend. <3

      Reply ·
  92. REIKO

    First off I would like to say terrific blog! I had a quick
    question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested to find out how
    you center yourself and clear your mind prior to writing.
    I have had a tough time clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there.
    I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the
    first 10 to 15 minutes are generally wasted just trying to figure out how
    to begin. Any recommendations or tips? Kudos!

    Reply ·
  93. Bonnie

    I’m one of the minority here that is perplexed about the purpose of this material on a blog that is purportedly tied to weight loss and weight management. But maybe that’s where I miss the point. Perhaps SPT sees her business as burgeoning into a broader market that appeals to women in general, to their personal lives, and to the overall concept of “self development” ~ whatever that may mean. I don’t think she is doing this without awareness, or without purpose. She has a large following of people that can be offered information on a variety of topics that she feels qualified to discuss in her vlogs. And her style, as far as I can tell, has always been to convey on a very personal level, her own experience. And if you look at the comments here…most folks really like this vlog. In fact, are loving it! So…she must know her market fairly well! Vlogs are a marketing tool. I need to remind myself of that when viewing this stuff. I guess the question for me on this vlog is…what is she selling?

    Reply ·
  94. Sharon

    Wow. Thank you. What a gift you’ve given by sharing such an intimate truth. The holiday is bringing up my codependent family behaviors and now I see it so much more clearly. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    Reply ·
  95. Gerri Copeland

    Crying …. You’r vulnerability and transparency are so touching. Thank you for letting us see the real you without sugar coating it. It’s so easy to pedestalize (is that a word?) you but when you do posts like this we get to see how human you are and it’s so relatable! You spoke to my heart and I feel like I truly know you. God bless you, David and your marriage. Sending an embracing hug to both of you.

    Reply ·
  96. Jill

    Did this help me?

    No, it created great anxiety within me as all I could think about were the possible consequences of this.

    Did the wonderful news of a put back together marriage get destroyed by this video that went public to several social media sites, assuring that it will get viewed by thousands upon thousands, assuring that this problem that seemed over before the video was released, will now be very much alive for a very long time.

    My heart was wrenching. Is wrenching.

    None of us know what the consequences of this will be.

    I can share by experience..
    I once went public on social media about something that should’ve been kept private and the person affected, who was very close to me, stopped talking to me. It’s been two years since we’ve spoken. She said my act was unforgivable. She’s right.

    Yes, her absence still hurts very much but you know what? She’s taught me a lesson, the consequences of my actions.

    Damn, she’s strong in her anger and her silence, but she has every right to be. I hurt her.

    We have a problem right now in our society, it’s become acceptable to just say what’s in our hearts, to anyone, with no regard to the consequences.

    It’s nothing to get excited about! This is not something to clap to, or encourage!

    If Susans followers truly believe this story will keep them off sugar and flour, I’d sure like to hear how.

    For me, being deeply sensitive, this story, airing publicly, upset me and I am upset by those who are rooting her on.

    Perhaps someone else’s drama has become the new drug of choice.

    I want to pull David and Susan and the girls into a room and hug them all while someone erases all traces of the video. Which is probably not possible at this point.

    I do, and have always admired Susan’s ability to speak her truth from the heart, and yes, she’s been to hell and back and she’s wonderful and powerful and helping people…

    But I did not find this helpful. I think this only exacerbates a huge gossip problem we have in our society.

    Everyone needs to take some quiet time and ask themselves why they cheered to this, if they did. This isn’t a movie, it’s people’s lives.

    This was gossip

    Certainly, we can talk about ourselves, our fears, our weaknesses, our struggles.

    But once we start involving someone else’s character, and actions (even when it’s wrapped in a beautiful package, claiming to help others, such as this) its soul destroying…

    It’s destroying them and it’s destroying you. You just don’t know it. You just can’t see it. You just can’t feel it.

    Yet

    I can.

    I pray for them, I pray for you, I pray for all affected by this.

    Conflict reveals our own character defects… Not others! (We only like to talk about others cause it takes the focus off us!)

    If we can be in conflict and stay quiet, and stay kind. Then we’ve shown great strength. That’s when we should be admired.

    It does not require great strength to stand and reveal others character defects.

    Does it help in the court system or in politics? It certainly does not. Yet. It’s how we have learned to gain power, by putting the other guy down to make ourselves look better.

    It should not be ok. It’s not ok…

    Maybe it feels ok, in the moment, as it helps us relieve some inner anxiety…

    But in the long run, we’re just going to become a society that can only look at others defects of character, and never our own.

    As I close, I stand here as an imperfect person, who’s made horrible mistakes, who’s lost people close to me forever because of my actions. My own gossiping words, wrapped up in my need to “air my troubles”… in seek of comfort.

    The problem is real, maybe even bigger than food addiction…

    I’m going to go weigh and measure my lunch now, cause Susan taught me to have boundaries with my food…

    Which helps me weigh and measure my life.

    Which helps me weigh and measure my actions.

    May all your needs be met.

    Love, Jill

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Hi Jill,

      Thank you for taking the time to share what’s on your heart, as we can tell you were deeply affected by this vlog. The personal experience you’ve had sounds painful and very difficult. We are so sorry to hear of the grief you are experiencing and send love and healing to you this day. ❤️

      Reply ·
  97. Gillian Thornton

    As always Susan your honesty and real life events of what is happening with you only make you more human. God bless both you and David and your three daughters. Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and a close and happy relationship with your family for 2020 and many years beyond.

    Reply ·
  98. Belinda

    Woah, this is incredibly disturbing. What is sad is she’s using the most public vehicle that BLE has for her own personal therapy session.

    By constantly breaking her own lines, she was already showing us the program is untenable as a longterm lifestyle.

    But this is even worse. These personal blogs undermine the “science” of BLE and sabotage the whole movement. Why use the business vlog to rail against her own husband and throw him under the bus? All the others who are supporting this and thanking her for her courage are probably also subscribers to US Weekly and In Touch. They are just marveling at a passing accident. It’s not healthy for her, not good for the business, and definitely not good for her marriage.

    This stuff belongs in therapy.

    Reply ·
    1. Diane

      Oops, that was meant to be SPT not SJP, but in my defence the vlog was totally stuff you’d hear on sex in the city back in the day…

      Reply ·
  99. Devika/Ellen

    OMG! What a gift! Where were you in 1969? I might have saved my marriage.
    The Love and Clarity are priceless.
    My heart is full.
    Sending you my Gratitude~

    Reply ·
  100. Diane

    It’s hard to take BLE seriously when we get the founder airing their frustrations in their marriage, their dirty laundry and details of their sexual timetable in public. These are conversations I have with my friends, I’m not a prude! Hearing this from someone I don’t know, but respect causes me embarrassment, it’s like watching a car wreck. Dignity isn’t a big deal in our society much anymore, but it is a quality in people that I admire. It’s missing from these vlogs from time to time. I’m doing BLE because it works and I believe in the science. I wanted the food plan, tools and support. I didn’t buy in to having to listen to our founder SJP put all her personal stuff out there. I watch these vlogs seeking support and new ideas in my BLE journey, not to listen to marital woes. I truly hope you both find a way forward, either together or not, but happy in yourselves.

    Reply ·
  101. Diane

    Totally having issues posting, before I completely give up, I meant SPT not SJP, good grief!

    Reply ·
  102. Debbie

    I actually felt quite moved by this video. God bless you and your family and am sure you will come out of this with a stronger marriage than before. Wishing you and yours a peaceful Christmas. Best wishes Debbie

    Reply ·
  103. Myra

    Susan, I have found “thought work” much more beneficial than “parts work.” Going to suggest some coaching with Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School who has faced some of your same issues and made lemonade. She is also public about her life and children and is building a huge business. You are not alone. The difference is her perspective.

    Reply ·
  104. Lisa Knode

    I love you Susan . You have been an inspiration to many. My question to you is when do you ever turn off work and just spend quality time with your family. Sounds like David really needs you. Time goes by so fast and you can’t get it back.

    Reply ·
  105. Jeanne Aldrich

    Susan Pierce Thompson – You are the most authentically courageous woman that I have ever met in my almost 70 years of living on this planet. Because of I I your raw bravery and honesty – I have learned so much about myself during this sometimes heart wrenching Vlog than any other one that I have listened to. I am so touched that you risk weathering the storm of so many who simply didn’t get it. “This stuff belongs in therapy – bla bla bla”. I am forever reminded of Brene Browns book on how brave it is to be vulnerable. That is real strength – to be able to help others by allowing to stretch and learn something valuable and meaningful about themselves because you dared to be honest. Good for you Susan. Learning from other is always an exercise in true humility and setting ones ego aside enough to be compassionate and not judgmental. I love the saying, “what someone thinks about me is none of my business!!!” This Blog is so true to that. Please don’t take any of the judgmental stuff in and stay in the place where you know that you have helped so many people. Keep doing that! Keep helping those who choose to listen and learn. I am one of them that is so so so grateful for you – for the many many lessons I have learned from you that because of you – I can now hold my head higher and when you speak of the your inner peace – I actually know of what you speak. Thank you for that. A thousand thank you’s Susan. Sail on! You are changing the world!

    Reply ·
    1. Carol

      A thousand times yes!!! I truly appreciate your courage to be so raw and real here. Your experiences of your moments of deep connection to Spirit are so magical and inspiring.
      Not that we need to take sides, but I’m on Team Susan ;~). That said, I really want David to feel into his deep wants and needs and desires and speak them out!!!!! Love to all and thank you forever.

      Reply ·
  106. JCC

    Oh boy! I have been following SPT since the beginning. Bought the books but follow another weight loss regimen. Anyway this seems to be the turning point for her BLE business. The majority are listening and watching, I assume, because they are interested in info about weight loss. We do not need to know about her personal life. That is not why we follow her, although now some may hang in for the personal info. Others, like myself will be turned off because we are only interested in weight loss info. When I buy a product or read a book, I do not care or want information about the person who created that product or book. I just want to enjoy it or use the information it gives me. This is way too much information and has taken BLE in a totally new direction. In doing so, SPT will be losing followers. Even though must responses have been supportive, I just wonder how many feel the way I do and are not voicing their opinions. She should take a survey as she grew her business on BLE but it is turning into something else.

    Reply ·
  107. Trinity B.

    Thank you for taking the risk… After 35 years of sobriety and rezooming my deeper spiritual practice with BLE (just over a year now)..I am thinking about anonymity, about Alanon after seeing this vlog. Because of you, I am in my right size body again and I am keeping a closer eye on my own plate…on myself. As result, my partner of 16 yrs (who is not a 12 stepper) is feeling inspired by me again…spiritually and physically (wanting to self improve – also, eating better and our daughter is eating better). I’m not passive/aggressive in my communication nearly as much, (i.e. I don’t criticize, judge or condemn). Our marriage, our home is more peaceful and you have a part in that, Susan. It’s one of my most sacred NSV’s. So I thank you… You and the BLE team are always in my daily prayers.,.. now I will add David and your children. I hope you and David heal the damage that has been done to your marriage and your children are not hurt by this vlog.

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Thank you, Trinity. We are thrilled for your successes and for the stable place in which you and your family are currently thriving. ❤️

      Reply ·
  108. Nina

    The reason BLE works so well is because it doesn’t only focus on transforming your relationship to food, it’ s just as much a conscious re-evaluation of the relationship to yourself and reflection upon your identity, values and who you want to be and how you wish to behave towards yourself and others. Ex: can you trust yourself and can others trust you? Susan’s vlog couldn’t be more relevant. She is absolutely great. An example to us all. It takes some confidence and courage to be that authentic and honest. Susan is strong, so she can handle hurtful and negative comments. But even strong persons need support, kind words and a hug when they face unfair and harsh treatment. Thank you for everything Susan. Please continue your work for years to come. So many people are so grateful. Hope your Christmas will be wonderful. 😊🌸🎁🌲☃️

    Reply ·
  109. Karen Brennan

    Thank You Susan.

    I think you just helped a lot of people understand the difficulty marriage can be on your BLE journey !

    God Bless ! Happy Holiday !

    Reply ·
  110. Autumn

    As if you don’t already have enough to do, read the book *Real Love* by Greg Baer. That thought came to me over and over as I listened to your transparent vlog. Maybe it was my “God voice.” 😉 That might help David realize why he’s angry and what he wants and needs. Thank you for all you do. May you find unconditional love in your marriage.

    Reply ·
  111. Christine

    Blessings to you both! I appreciate the courage you have to show up so honestly— in any deeply connected and long lived marriage there are tough seasons and people rarely talk about them!

    Reply ·
  112. Caren

    Struggling with a forty year marriage which involves my husband’s infidelity from 2000-2011 and his diagnosed mental illness. It has been challenging to regain my health and weight so I have leaned on Bright Line Eating for help. I can identify with this week’s vlog. Wishing everyone in BLE a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

    Reply ·
  113. Deb

    “Brains have to judge.” Yes.

    Marriage is a difficult relationship, in large part because it is a long relationship.

    In my experience, men are more challenged with communicating openly and honestly than women. I would have to listen to David for a long time before I really understood the dynamic–no matter how you slice it, there are always two sides.

    That said, this is your truth, your story, your observations, and your feelings. You are entitled to all of them! Also, there is a component of complete and abject honest in BLE that makes this sort of personal VLOG normal and to-be-expected.

    Reply ·
  114. Joanne

    Very interesting to read all of the above comments in response to SPT’s most recent vlog. No one has mentioned the one point that jumped out at me as I was listening- that one of her close friends (or was it her therapist) asked her to keep track of her weekly schedule and it turns out that she spends 40 hours per week on self development, self awareness, self care- 40 hours!!

    Reply ·
    1. Marcy

      That fact jumped out to me too! I thought it was interesting that she spends 40 hours a week on self-development/self-awareness/self-care!

      Reply ·
    2. Sharon

      I noticed that as well. Not much time left for marriage or family. Found the oversharing of deeply personal, intimate and sexual detsiks of the relationship to be truly disturbing.

      Reply ·
    3. Sharon

      I noticed that as well. Not much time left for marriage or family. Found the oversharing of deeply personal, intimate and sexual details of the relationship to be truly disturbing.

      Reply ·
  115. Normalicious

    Thank you !!!! Im going through something similar.
    You won’t believe how this was a PERFECT TIMING for me to I watch this blog!
    It has made me feel more peaceful and re asses exactly what do I want!!
    Thank you😊

    Reply ·
  116. Esther

    Thank you David for supporting me in my wonky program.

    Reply ·
  117. Bev MacKenzie

    Hello, I’m sorry I just started the 14 day challenge and want to know how to get a refund. I’m having trouble with your time video’s. I thought this program would have more talk about foods and nutrients. Please don’t post this . I don’t k is how to reach anyone thanks. Kind regards Be

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Hi Bev! So sorry you are having trouble accessing your course materials! We do see our team was able to get in touch with you to get this resolved. 🧡

      Reply ·
  118. K

    Beautiful. Thanks for sharing ♡

    Reply ·
  119. Emma

    Susan – please don’t ever change, I looooooove it when you shoot vlogs about your life, hope you and your family have a great xmas xxx

    Reply ·
  120. MaceXram

    I had been taking a break from your blogs, a break since Thanksgiving from my Bright Line Eating, and have been having a horrendous time in life and my marriage, culminating in me sleeping in another room, thinking of moving out, and feeling unusually off-balance
    ,desperate and sad….and today is my sobriety anniversary-30 miraculous years of no alcohol and drugs (sugar excluded…but, the aforementioned sobriety was After 10 years of repeat trying, and a very lowwww bottom – living on the streets for the last 2years of it)…so today is spiritually special for me, and it is no coincidence that I tapped on THIS SPECIFIC VLOG- I am SO grateful…to HP, to Susan, who is a special angel, for her openness, honesty, and radiant LOVE…your sharing was my anniversary gift..it really brought me to tears it was so touching, and I learned/recognized/dusted off SO MUCH because of it. Shake off the poo-pooing people posting here Susan, and rest assured you are helping uncountable numbers of people who THANK YOU for you dedication to LIFE! You touched and improved mine immensely today. 💓

    Reply ·
    1. Bright Line Eating

      Sending so much love to you at this point in your journey. 🧡

      Reply ·
  121. Judy

    Being married 44 years, I can relate to Susan’s message and there is such wisdom in the message. Relationships are hard and I think, especially women, we cater our needs to others hoping for peace. Strong women set boundaries which is hard but necessary I really find comfort and encouragement in this message. We do need to think of ourselves and what we need. Very healthy!

    Reply ·
  122. Lynn Campbell

    Have just got around to watching this flog. Susan, I admire you for your honesty and commitment. Thank you.
    You said some very profound things that touched me deeply and I am going to rewatch this again with a pen and paper to record your words of wisdom.
    From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

    Reply ·
  123. Nili Marcia

    What an amazingly open, precious, tender-hearted vlog. I’m sorry that those who made negative comments are not in a place where they can appreciate such a deep and special sharing as you’ve given us, Susan. Since my introduction to BLE almost 4 years ago I’ve been deeply grateful to you for who you are and all you do. Thank you for everything! In this vlog I especially appreciated your description of not wanting to model for your daughters a cowering, pacifying behavior in the face of male anger. That’s a VERY important lesson.

    Reply ·
  124. Dominique Giampaolo

    Hey Susan, thank you for sharing. I can relate to your sharing. I’m a personal growth junky… Ha ha… My husband’s an amazing guy, and despite that… I can be controlling and just hyper alert of everything in our family… What transformed my marriage was Laura Doyle and her work with The Empowered Wife. She’s the expert! Please give her a serious a check out. You two remind me of each other. She teaches 6 intimacy skills for marriages. So empowering. Sending prayers of support! <3

    Reply ·
  125. MJ Swickard

    Thank you! I have tears streaming down my face right now. This was beautiful. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 23 years and we are going through a difficult time right now. This resonated so close to my heart. I started listening to this last night and within the first 4 minutes I knew I needed to continue. I told my husband what I had heard in the first couple of minutes and he asked me to tell him about the rest. I think your experience you spoke about will help us with some talking points, as we weren’t sure how to move forward. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being honest and raw.

    Reply ·
View All Comments ▾

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>