The Food Indulger

Many of us can identify a part within us that likes to take comfort in excess food, especially in times of stress. I’ve been preparing my presentations for the Third Annual Bright Line Eating Family Reunion, which starts in just a week, and in this VLOG, I give you a sneak preview of what I’ve been learning about my inner “Food Indulger.”

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Comments

  1. Michelle Thomas

    This was great! Thank you for sharing, as someone that has lost 100 lbs multiple times I truly appreciate the theory of parts. It reminds me of the systems we learned about in a graduate level psych course. I have been telling people I have a spoiled child inside that I need to manage and have been helping people in my facebook group look for their child. I will be looking into the theory of Parts in the near future. I have managed to maintain my weight loss for almost 4 years focusing on creating new habits to replace the negative habits of my childhood. This gives me a new avenue to address. So thanks again!

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  2. Michelle

    Thank you. We think painful feelings have a life of their own and we need to escape from them – escape from pain by having pleasure – but the feelings cannot exist without us thinking unhappy thoughts. We need to not be afraid of our feelings by knowing they will pass, and we need to calm down and then address our inner problems, and often times accept that stuff we don’t like or want has happened. This is said after having stress-eaten through half a jar of nut butter this week! Time to accept my failings patiently and remotivate to try again, try little by little to be better.

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    1. Dylan

      I get it Michelle. I have a reunion coming up this weekend and I am anxious about it and I’m finding myself eating so much more this week, mostly out of nervousness and mostly sweets because they give me pleasure.

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    2. Lauren

      Yep, entire jar of nut butter in a week here…it’s all gone now, so that’s good 😉

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  3. Lynne Turin

    It is amazing that every week your VLOG is so insightful to the inner working of the mind and how it impacts the body. I for so long neglected my mind’s role in my unhealthy weight and food plan. I will now give both my mind and my body equal responsibility for my successful journey. This Vlog was particularly amazing and is really giving me the words to explain all of the feelings, actions and conversations that are not spoken out loud….thank you. I prefer the indulger more than the saboteur 😀 …..your willingness to sharing these feelings and experiences is so appreciated.

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  4. Jacke

    This topic really speaks to me. I’ve been so curious about what is leading me to do what you did, or eat something that is BLE compliant but not good for me and when I do it it happens like I’d just been swept off of my feet without any pause time or with pause time but the sweep happens really really rapidly then!

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  5. Joseph

    That was fascinating Dr. Thompson! I always thought of that voice as one trying to do harm. But it makes sense that it just wants to help us feel better. It makes sense because do feel better after we indulge . Unfortunately that better feeling is fleeting, and we’re left with an unwanted aftermath, not foreseen by that tempting voice. I guess we can say that the indulger has good intentions, but he never learns.
    Joseph in Missoula

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    1. Susan Schrey

      Such rudeness! Awesome vlog! I have watched hours of Susan’s vlogs and she is brilliant. She rarely stumbles for words. Some people need to go to manners 101 class.We all do this when we aren’t 100% sure of our topic, (yes ALL of us). Susan even says that this is new to her. (Recognizing the Indulger). I’m grateful she is on a mission to teach us what she knows and what she is learning. I’m grateful I had parents that knew the importance of teaching manners. Once again, thank you Susan for an awesome vlog!!

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      1. KK

        I think you meant to put this on Claires post of rudeness and not Josephs?

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        1. Jacqie Shartier

          I think it’s meant for Claire, too!

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  6. Claire

    To those of you who have an “um” problem…please don’t mix up unscripted, emotionally charged dialogue with an official speech!

    If you watch Susan-her eyes go up and down and sideways-her hands move, her body moves…She is trying to access a clearer word or metaphor for what is OBVIOUSLY and emotional problem for “most of us”…and I appreciate it. The content is always cohesive with a beginning, middle and end. If it is painful to listen to her ramblings…then pay attention to your inner control freak. I find her vlogs very “conversational”…and don’t mind the style a bit-even when I’m a little stumped…it is a sign I need to pay attention to that reaction.

    And to Susan! Bless you! I was a “stay at home mom” with a bunch of livestock to handle, and occasional stints of part time professional employment-and I STILL have those days. When I’m about ready to throw up my hands-one of the tricks I always use is:

    How would I feel if I did/didn’t follow through with this/that…and one of my kids or my hubby or my house died or burned tomorrow? Ok-now I have perspective on the priorities of my life…NOW-how do I proceed? I may have to put some things off, stay up a little later, take us ALL out to dinner, put a swim date on the calendar, or ask the kiddos if they will take a game playing evening tonight, or a good sprinkle in the back yard…whatever it takes. Call up your hubby and BAWL! Let him know how much it pains you to not be able to figure out how to get your day done and if he has any suggestions…Your’s sounds like a peach…betcha he could come up with a good one!

    I also realize that when my energy is good and up-I have a tendancy to “indulge” in all sorts of “needed” distractions and projects as I too-have a busy mind…and then when my energy wanes-there I am having to slog through to the finish on commitments…it IS distressing!

    Basically-what we want is to be with our loved ones in LOVE and kindness and openness and generosity…and it pains us when that doesn’t seem to happen-or we don’t feel like it. Having made it past Menopause-with thyroid issues myself-I can tell you that without the ups and downs of a monthly hormonal roller coaster-things are a lot less “five alarm fire”, or “just run away from home” most of the time…it is a blessing!

    So here is to the collective, human journey. You do what you want to with the hecklers…but I find your “across the table” format quite refreshing, and your poking into all the holes we can find ourselves hiding in too funny. Have a good trip…and remember to be self compassionate! It is hard to be a ‘border collie’ in a human form…but there it is…busy busy busy.

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  7. Lisa Afsharian-Wilson

    Another great vlog and very insightful message about the indulger. I had a similar experience this past weekend and can now put it in perspective. Thank you so much, Susan! I’m coming to the reunion next week and am thrilled for what’s in store. Many thanks to you and your team for all you do for our amazing unstoppable community.

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  8. Sue Howard Thomas

    Oh, oh…my indulger made me go out and eat the one NMF that you mentioned. I am on a road trip, day 7. Thanks reminding me to use some self-compassion.

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  9. Fiona

    Dearest Susan,

    13:24 “there’s no way to make everybody happy”….perhaps you have hit on something there! 😀

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  10. Stacy

    Oh my god, Susan, you just said exactly how I feel every day! The part about being trapped by life and having to let something you care about drop…. and it’s tripping me up every. Single. Day. How do you take care of that hurt? I’m not sure what to do with it.

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  11. Caroline

    I love the idea of self compassion. What I’m curious about is why a more satisfying meal isn’t on the menu everyday. If food can satisfy you (as we know certain foods do) or make you crave more (as we know certain foods do), why not choose the food that satisfies every time? For me, this is meat or fish, vegetables and fruit, and enough fat (this is sometimes a handful of nuts!). When I eat that way, I feel good and the cravings are gone. Isn’t that the point? To be satisfied and not think about food again until we’re hungry? I’m a 9. I struggle if I give in to sweets, grains or dairy. Otherwise it’s like my brain is reset to normal. My indulger is all about Carpe Diem – I don’t want to miss out on new and fantastic experiences. But giving in means cravings, so the struggle is back when I indulge.

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  12. riadh ghanma

    the indulger might take you to indulge in things other than food, relations is one of them

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  13. Cindy Marconi

    Wow! How helpful is that knowledge!! Thanks so much. I just happen to be taking classes & reading right now on self-compassion. Right on, sistah!

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  14. Mercedes (from Argentina)

    My dear Susan, I always think that I already know everything you have to give, but I prove myself wrong every Wednesday. Thank you!

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  15. eleanor travis

    Very, very helpful…thank you. This is new information to me.

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  16. riadh ghanma

    Mercedes (from Argentina)
    هi liked your comment

    btw, why not introduce a like key on comments?

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  17. Lynn Ellis

    I have read the IFS therapy book. I never understood what was behind my boundary issues. I have two protectors, one that just puts on a smile to make everyone else happy, goes drinking and eating NMF and captivates if I try and set boundaries. The other is the silent one that shuts down in conflict. I am a child of neglect and abuse, lucky to be alive and my wound is being abandoned, ridiculed and shunned. My family of origin including my parents did this to me. So good to know, I am having compassion for myself. I am at last finding the answers.

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  18. Julie

    If I buy the streaming event, how long will the videos be available to review? I will only be able to see it in segments. Hope I will be able to access it as if buying a book so to speak.

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  19. Jacqie Shartier

    I just listened to Susan’s Vlog now after a session with Everett Friday. I can’t wait to listen to this on live stream! Self compassion is what I need so desperately in my life. THANK YOU Susan, God loves you and so do I! Have a fabulous conference and see you next year in San Diego!

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  20. Teresal

    This is very empowering! I think most people give in to that part of the brain and give it total autonomy. However the part of the brain that can control is often in tapped until the brain that urge is quelled! Knowing this can bring the control center to more conscious levels! Thanks

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  21. marie lamattina

    Susan your Birthday is June 29 and mine is June 30th

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