Letting Go of Relationships as We Grow on Our Recovery Journey

When we walk a path of recovery, that often means drastic changes in our habits and interests. In this week’s vlog, I answer a viewer question about the painful topic of losing relationships as we grow and seek our truth.

 

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Comments

  1. Robert Vincelette

    I do not have as much choice because I cannot accept food that requires unnecessary killing of animals to manufacture such as gelatin and cheeses that are made with slaughterhouse enzymes. I also can’t eat gluten because after doing time in the hospital several times the biopsy showed celiac “disease”. I also sympathize with people who develop anorexia nervosa even though I regard their suicide diets tragically misguided because whenever I see men with big beer bellies hanging out all I can think about it is that I could never accept life as worth living if I had to tolerate any lifestyle forcing me to live in a body made so ugly by such excess fat.
    I practice amateur bodybuilding and I have been doing it for years and I have simplified my meals to match the approximate macro-nutrients and included the best micro-nutrients.
    At work my supervisor tells me that I would have more friends if I would not react to the likes of McDonald’s and Coke as though they were – and to me they are by far – more disgusting to put in my mouth than the indiscretions I clean out of the kitty litter pan, but to me it is not worth it. I would rather have true friends who do not encroach upon the boundaries of my body by telling me to eat what I cannot stand or to skip a workout “just this once.” I would never dare to deprive another of the right to have control over how he or she eats and/or exercises and I would never let anyone take away my control of these things.

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  2. Wiley McCarthy

    Love the blue dress! I’ve been fortunate so far in that best friends are understanding. Fam and friends video is great tool!

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  3. Carrie Shuman

    Wow…this was really timely for me. I woke up this morning thinking of my ‘lost’ friend. We actually parted before BLE…as I was moving in this direction for some time. It still feels so raw and scared…and it’s been some years now🙏

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  4. Carol

    Wow powerful. You are so authentic Susan. YAY.

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  5. Margaret Abernathy

    It would be helpfu if you had a transcript along with the video. My grandson hs seeral addictions and is in poor company
    If I could send him the cooments of people who had to change their friends and activities. Otherwise if we grandparents
    try to sow them their destructive ways and that others have gone through this too. Their feelings and actions may impact hm.

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    1. Terez

      +1 on the value of transcripts. Would love to have transcripts available of your videos.

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  6. Melissa

    Hi, is there a link for the Friends and Family video? I enjoy sharing information of BLE on my Facebook so folks can follow my Happy, Thin, and Free journey.

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  7. Wendy

    Wow what an empowering Vlog on so many levels. You always seem to speak to my soul. God bless you for sharing your intuition and experiences.

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  8. Giovanna

    Oh wow, I so much relate! I have gone through a Massive personal journey especially in the last two years and yes, I’ve “lost” more than one even life-long friend. I accepted the challenge, knowing that it was not only fact, but included necessary, although painful, and now that I am “on the other side” I can witness that a) that space I made in my life has been taken up by my new partner I am very happy with and b) I am now able to more consciously choose friends that are much more aligned with me, who respect me way more and I am very grateful to my soul for guiding me through the process. If anyone reading is in that process right now I can say confidently: listen to your heart, be strong, and have faith. XOXOXO

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  9. Nancy Finley

    Susan,
    Tomorrow is the end of my 14 day challenge! Actually, this is my 14th day! Hooray!
    Maybe u can use me as an example of never being too old to learn. I’m 71 yrs old & hav been “unsuccessfully” dieting since I was 14..
    It makes so much sense to me now that i’m Addicted to sugar & flour; I quit smoking 32 yrs ago & would never think of having an occasional cigarette!
    Thank you for all the information & support. I hav about 50 more lbs to lose, & finally know how to do it! You rock!

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    1. Hollie Duvall

      Nancy, how inspiring!! I’m 64 years old and sometimes feel self conscience about my weight loss because of my age. So glad to hear there’s other “senior” members losing!

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    2. Glenda

      Me too Nancy & Hollie (71 that is) and since March I have released 50 lbs on BLE & a total 64 altogether since January 2017! Awesome program and I am feeling terrific! Wish you both the best. Oh & there are a lot of us seniors in BLE.

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  10. Sue

    This video transmits fine fom my email on Google. However when it comes through Messenger it does not. Through M it transmits as a split page with a virtical selection panel of all SPT’s blogs on the right and a vertically distorted blurred image on the left.

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  11. Theresa

    Anyone who has been through a divorce… knows about losing friends. I was fortunate that one of my best friends was honest with me. She admitted she was jeaulos and that she needed to keep working on her non-functional marriage. But still… It hurt for a very long time. But since that time I’ve had a friendships and relationships that ended and I’ve learned to accept it and move on.
    Thank you Susan for telling us it is okay and that our own soul is all we can be responsible for… as that is how I now live! I am constantly amazed at the people I meet and connect with….because of it.

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  12. Gina Heese

    This was such great and useful information! Thank you

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  13. Jack Olsen

    fantastic blog

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  14. lori

    beautiful! thank you so much – so inspiring!

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  15. Lilly

    It sucks to lose friends and or family when your life is either on on upward or downward trajectory. Yes, we are in charge of one soul, and that feel good.

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  16. Terri Abruzzese

    thanks so much for your Vlog today Susan. It was really timely and I appreciate how you shared your story. You inspire me to be a stronger person and hope to not give in to others view of me if I decide to not do what they are doing.

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  17. Josephine R.

    I have found less that I am growing away from
    Some people that I am around. I do still have my friends
    Mostly who were so happy for me in the weight loss –
    Two of three are thin themselves. Oddly, my sister
    Who had been thin all her life mostly, put me down after
    Being supposedly happy for me by saying – oh well I imagine
    You will put it back on since you always do. Wow. Right?
    That I imagine was because then she can judge me or put me down for the weight illnesses that can arise and when I am happier and healthier, she is at a loss. She is younger by the way and lives on West coast. For me it is my internal
    Growth that steers me away from negative and ego minded people. I just signed up for the bright Line healing program and loved today’s first session. I had not quite heard that info before on Expectations vs Agreement. This just happened to me at work and it was true – my reaction. Thank you for offering it and same format as the boot camp .

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  18. Lynda Hahn

    On the other hand…..I have gained so many wonderful and beautiful new friends in the 3 years since joining Bright Line Eating. Friendships within the hours are totally amazing and so loving.
    Thanks sweet Susan. Xoxoxox

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  19. Lynda Hahn

    Oops auto correct..,”friendships with the group “ not hours! Lol

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  20. Crystal

    Susan, thanks for the blog. Just when I’m ready to write off BLE as too much, too cult, you make more super perceptive remarks and remind me what a really smart, informed and open minded person you are. I am a BLE cherry-picker, right sized now but still screwed up.

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  21. Joseph

    So true Susan! A wise person taught me something back in the hippie days. He said: “Joseph, your charge in this life is to be the happiest you can be. That doesn’t mean pursuing happiness, because when pursued, it slips away. It’s elusive. But it does mean embracing what resonates with your inner self, and discarding the rest.”

    In line with that, he said: “Living for your children will only serve to fail you, because when universally applied, i.e. when everyone does that, no one lives the life they want for themselves. And what kind of a world does that make?”
    Joseph in Missoula

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  22. Denise

    If a friend abandons you because you want to get healthier. they probably were never that good of a friend in the first place.I have been used alot with so called friends whether i was big or small…i lost 50 lbs and not any of the few friends i do have, have been bothered by my weight loss..They are happy for me, even though they have no interest in BLE and what it is all about…i dont talk about it to them, because i know it can get annoying if you talk about something that the other person has no intesrest in doing…i am doing BLE by myself with no help..its just me and i dont mind at all…I have always been alone when trying to lose weight…this find a buddy who wants to lose too just doesnt exist for me…When i go out to eat i go if there are choices i can have…if friends or family choose a restaurant where there are no choices for me, i stay home..Their loss not mine..and its no biggy for me…i hate to spend money to eat out anyways….lol…If there is a day that a friend dumps me for getting smaller and they are still overweight..well thats their problem not mine…most of my friends are overweight but it doesnt affect our relationship.Susan said it well…i am sure there is jealousy in there for Midges’ friend, but not her problem…

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  23. mylene

    Thank you Susan for the excellent Vlog
    “I believe that in this life we are charged with the care of just ONE soul, and that’s our own!”
    Powerful words and I thank you for them.

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  24. Nancy Goss

    Such wisdom you shared with us, Susan! It so helps us to know how to heal from incidents where friendships fall by the wayside when we don’t understand it. It gives us a framework for healing.

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  25. Janna Liza

    Thank you Susan, luckily I have not experienced any of this. Thank you for the vlog enjoyed it as ever. Thank you for the lovely card you send me, all the way to ZA

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  26. Sarah

    I’m not even a member yet… So I am not sure what you are talking about with the “Diet” . I’m getting an idea about lifestyle changes , food and everything else we “Take into our body, mind, soul & spirit “, has tremendous effects on who we are or who we are not. My friend shared this link with me and shared some of the benefits that she and her husband are experiencing. Very good for them. I am on my own journey to live, eat, and grow for myself, I want to be happy and whole.
    So I bypass the early stuff because I’m just looking with an open mind. I came to the blog about letting “ friends go”. This has been a really hot issue lately for me. So I listen to what Susan has to say on the subject. Susan you blew me away with your answer to Midge…
    Susan touched on so many of my own issues at least 8. Everything was so true and honest, that I feel like I have been granted a great wish.
    Needless to say, I am going further with this program. Caring for my own soul, mind,body and spirit , finding my own truth ! I’m jumping in folks and looking forward to making new friends that I can run with . Thankful for Lori my friend, and for you Susan. This is gonna be great!

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    1. Lorie Livingstone

      I’m thankful for this program and I’m thankful for having you as my friend, Sarah!

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  27. Mona

    Thanks again for such a great topic. So much support and understanding. You provide both sides of the coin, always . I’m learning so much from you and your team . We are not responsible for everyone, just our self. Have a great week!

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  28. Sharon

    Susan, this reasonated so much with me! Not long ago, I was introduced by a mutual friend to a recently widowed man. Our dates were fun and he quickly asked me out for events way in future, talking about us being a “good team,” – mentioned thoughts of us living together! He saw how I ate and said he would stay healthy if he was with me because I was so careful about what I ate. He wanted his dessert treats in moderation asked me if I could follow my plan six days a week and eat whatever I wanted on Sunday as a cheat day. I didn’t go in to the details of my food addiction or BLE as I wasn’t ready yet.
    Then, in a phone call, without warning he suddenly broke up with me out of the blue. When I asked what the reason was, he said I was too structured and I when I asked for an example he said “the way you eat”! ” I can’t see myself eating like that.” I was shocked & angry and it hurt. Since I knew this was done, I ended the conversation with no other response except, “well, good luck to you.”
    It hurt but talking to BLE friends & others I realized it was for the best. Thanks for great insight, Susan

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    1. Nancy

      Wow BLE did some automatic weeding of Assholes! Yeay!!

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    2. Madison

      Hmmm… Sounds like there might be more to this story than the fact your diet is too structured. I have friends with very structured vegan diets and they’ve never had anyone or any guy ever say that to them. So whatever it was, I’m sure it was for the best.

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  29. Riadh

    losing friends, those who was our friends because and only because we are suffering, is a normal thing
    let them go and set them free

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  30. Carol S White

    Very meaningful vlog! Thank you so much!

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  31. Jacqueline

    Awesome

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  32. Sandy

    Wow, I have loved many of the weekly vlogs, but this one was particularly meaningful for me. Thank you so much for sharing, Susan. I also love what you said about what our job in life is, to care for our own soul.

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  33. Robert

    I disagree with you on the reason we are here on Earth. I believe we are here to help others. Fortunately for us, becoming a better Susan has allowed thousands of us to experience a great deal of help and sharing from you. You are truly becoming a better soul and we are all benefiting from your knowledge and efforts. Thank you so much.

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