The journey never ends…

The process of doing inner work is truly a lifelong pursuit, and there are many different avenues to explore along the journey. In this week’s vlog, I talk about the inner work I’ve done most recently.

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Comments

  1. Kate

    Love the blog, as usual, and i know this is a off-the-topic question but where did you get that GREAT DRESS ??? I’m 25 pounds down and ready to go shopping!!!

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  2. Diane

    Hi Susan. It’s definitely a struggle to balance family and work. Both are important but no-one ever lay on their deathbed regretting that they didn’t work more. Your kids will grow up before you can blink twice and the groundwork you and your husband are laying down now will colour your babies’ engagement with you as they forge their lives independently. Wishing you love and balance x

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  3. Melissa Kerby

    I worked outside the home the first three years of my only child’s life, and then part-time from home during his younger years. He’s now 27; I’m 59. I have two sisters with 7 grown children between them. They were almost exclusively SAH (but always providing some income). Working outside the home or in, there guilt in being a mother. You will probably never feel you did enough, or enough right things. I think part of being a female is being hyper-aware, maybe even being overly-sensitive (neurotic) about how others are doing, especially our kids – which makes total sense since we’re responsible for the biological survival of our children, by nature and not trivial. That said, I do believe, you will find as your children grow up and become independent and you wrestle with your changing role as mother, you eventually learn to surrender to the powerlessness over your children’s’ lives. When you are in the trenches, there can be a nagging sense that you’re not doing all your should – and good to listen to that voice. Maybe you’re not. But know that voice speaks even if you’re home all the time with your children. Eventually, so long as you are not or did not knowingly neglect or abuse them, you have to make peace with your parenting choices. Now, here’s the rub. When in the fray with young children, sometimes doing anything else is a relief, a gift, a distraction, and a break, but it is unbelievable how quickly they leave you – and if you’ve done your job right – they do not need you. AND, if they falter, and you are in pain with them, you eventually have to resolve yourself to the truth we all do (as children ourselves): our parents (circumstances) may have contributed to our problems, but they are our problems now to bear/solve. Certainly, you can do things to help yourself feel better about your effort (you are a hyper-performance driven individual), and certainly, listen to that voice to ensure you are providing the luxury of time and space your kids deserve. Most likely, once you see your girls moving on and making their own ways, you may well regret you didn’t spend as much time as you wish you had (regrets seem inherent to parenting), but I think you’ll realize you did a sufficient parenting job.

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  4. Sophie Spencer

    Love your vlogs. I had to chuckle with this one especially as you are soooo amazing & focused & intense. It’s all beautiful Susan and it’s okay. I was so much like you at your age. I’ve been doing the inner work for almost 50 years now. Am a retired therapist. Have done Byron Katie, 12 step, Psychosynthesis & much more. I would like to throw out that it’s not “who you are” – it’s a part of the larger you. As you know, so this is a reminder: you are a radiant being of light, love, compassion & service. When you get to be my age, nothing is as intense or revved up. Some of the rev adjustment comes with age. It just does. So, don’t beat yourself up too much, it will all balance out in time… I just adore you & BLE has been the final piece in solving the puzzle of my food addiction. I have no words and infinite gratitude for who you are in all your glorious Self! THANK YOU! God bless!

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    1. Caryl Westmore

      I second your every word Sophie Spencer including mellowing with age thank goodness! I devoted my energy to my 2 kids and inner work simultaneously and only stepped into my life purpose in the world at 50 when they left home. I had a stressed working mother and didn’t want that for my kids and that was perfect for me though my daughter watched me being trapped in a difficult marriage without my own career and has reacted to that by being a fulfilled career woman ( with no kids so far) so my point is…love what is and follow your ❣
      Susan,I have to chuckle that instead of telling us how you are actively amping up time and effort for your daughters you instead announce another work/ self reflective webinar. Are you blind to the irony here?

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  5. Inger Staubo

    Hi Susan! I would love to join the webinar,
    But the time is very difficult for us in Europe. It’s at 1 am or 1:30 am in Oslo.
    Could you consider sending it at a time when we are not asleep?
    I am so grateful for BLE! Love, Inger

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    1. Silvia

      Hi Inger! I´m in Europe too (Spain). It´s not 1 or 1:30 AM, it´s 1 or 1:30 PM for us. Not so bad!

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    2. Silvia

      Oh, I´m sorry! Now I´ve realized you were right! 🙁

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  6. Jane

    Hi Susan. Thanks for looking at the big picture inside and out! As you spoke about being a good Mom, I thought it was very interesting to consider setting goals and measuring something so personal and relational as “Momness”. Time is so important. Perhaps you are thinking about quantity and quality time goals. Hmm. I’m thinking that it’s too hard on you to try to be measuring yourself in everything. I’m thinking love trumps all. You can and will mess up on meeting your goals, guaranteed, but if you love the kids, really love them like I’m 100% positive you do, then you and they win. Messing up and forgiveness can be scary but can bless a relationship if love is strong. So that’s what I’m thinking. 🙄

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  7. carol

    Hi…we can all live with regrets with the way we raise our kids but when they become adults and call you for no reason but to talk, tell you they love you before they hang up after each call, say thank you for being their mom…then I know I did something right. Was I perfect…absolutely not! Was a single mom, worked 3-4 jobs for many years, rented the upstairs of our home out to make ends meet, and he started mowing lawns at 10 years old to learn work ethic (he kept his money and learned about tithing etc) BUT we still traveled around US and other trips, always had friends over, involved in his sports. He knows I had to do what I had to do as no child support 90% of time, no family in same state to assist but he still thanks me. We didn’t live in a fancy home, have fancy clothes, or cars. But we had friends … family too … so in the end all the money in the world won’t make you happy but the time you spend with your children is what they will remember.

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  8. Gale Berger

    Cannot access webinar registration. Link doesn’t work.

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  9. Susanne J Mitchell

    Hi Susan. I look forward to your blogs. I would like to register for your webinars but for some reason my kindle won’t let me. When I click to register the screen goes black. Is this my device or BLEs.

    Thanks.

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  10. Vangelis Sismanoglou

    Wow Susan, what a difference your dress makes.
    Finally you got out of this reddish -bourdeau – I think is the proper colour name of the dress you were always wearing.
    Keep it up, your transformation is refreshing.

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  11. Katja Reichert Machanic

    It would be awesome if you could consider people on other continents as well – if you are going to offer two different webinars…. for Europeans, both are basically in the middle of the night.

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  12. Emma Williams

    Cannot wait for this webinar xxx

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  13. Wendelin Ackermann

    First of all: I totally appreciate the work you do to help people becoming aware of their eating habits and give them clear instructions on how they can reduce their weight. I myself did the 2 weeks challenge and extended it to 3 weeks actually. Even though I’m not really an overweight person considering my height.

    However, the aspect of the personal growth thing seems very stressful to me: I listened to that bit in your today’s vlog :
    “I have coaches,
    I keep myself accountable,
    I have buddies,
    I have a mastermind groups,
    I journal about it, I track my progress,
    I monitor myself
    …and with my mothering I’m I’m not as intentional….”

    Well, I’d say thanks god that you have not targeted raising your kids with that setting goals thing. Which seems to be a very american thing to do: setting goals has become such a disease when you look at it actually: its a dis- ease. And to be not at ease is very stressful on the long run. Why create a world movement? For what? For whom? For yourself? For others? For your children? Why? For fame? For money? Because you want to help the maximum amount of people out of their misery? Just asking. The less stressful you are and the more happy, the more you will be beneficial the the world.
    Keep up the good work you are doing- but please: release that goals-thing, otherwise they will be in your way. It may work in economy, but people suffer sooner or later when put under constant performance pressure…

    With love from Freiburg in Germany

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  14. Kellye

    Relax! I am sure your girls know how loved they are. I don’t think that your analogy between work and mothering is really on target. I hate to hear the word “strive” connected with child rearing. You can’t quantify how you are doing as a mother on a spreadsheet or it will end up making THEM feel that they are failing YOU. Geez, just make sure they are safe, healthy, fed and loved. Honest to God, it is that simple. Enjoy them and let them feel enjoyed by you. Have some fun with it. Raising children is work but it isn’t WORK.

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  15. Cynthia Hamilton

    Well I am not a mom, but I am a daughter now age 65. I was raised by a stay at home mom who was mostly unavailable. She handled child raising as an obligation but it was clear she preferred to pursue her religious practice, her inner reflecting, and as soon as she had an imperative to go out to work, she left and never looked back. However, her inner work was not accomplished in a way that helped me differentiate and mature. Eventually I realized it was up to me to seek the inner work, the therapy and eventually a degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. I have now worked at USM for almost 20 years, because I love the inner work skills that I received, and what USM contributes to the lives of those who have taken the programs. I have also been in OA, OA-HOW, FAA and eventually recognized that whatever Mom and Dad did or did not do, their parenting launched me into my Soul journey and owning (in the words of my teachers, Ron and Mary Hulnick) Loyalty to my Soul liberates me from any backward looks at the parenting I received. Its up to me now to transcend those and live my life of loving awareness, compassion, and self-forgiveness.

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  16. Teresa Reed

    Oh my!! I so needed to hear this. I’m in a similar place. I should take those things to my mothering, too!!!

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  17. Karen Wilt

    Jesus is the answer to your inner work issues. He’s the only answer. And you don’t need all those points, processes, etc., etc. etc. It sounds to me like you’re almost ‘trying’ to find other ways to keep yourself busy and out there offering stuff to keep your business going. Jesus loves you. He died for you. Get to know Him and I guarantee, all that ‘stuff’ will fall by the wayside.

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  18. sara

    You were so freaked out by a mint on your pillow on your cruise you left 3 baby girls alone in a ship cabin…..no DANGER kids could have been taken from your room. Went in search of a service counter with David how many floors up? Paid $ 100 dollars for a ship to shore phone called a friend on west coast to talk you out of the mint? ” David was saving the mints up for the drive back from Florida to NY…..” You are not healthy or healed just using food issues to avoid looking at your real issues of abuse, neglect hippy parents of divorce etc. Stop giving advice until you look at that little child eating handfuls of marshmellows, doing drugs, a hooker, fat and sugary food junky SUCH A FAke just like your giant boobs!!! Full of BS

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  19. Linda

    I downloaded the daily companion app. But it says I need to register on the website. I don’t see where to do that. Can you help me?

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  20. Amy

    The link to register or the webinar does not work, it aks me to pay fee to join which I already did historically.

    Reply ·
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